22 October 2009

The poster child for mandatory expulsion from Earth*

This probably isn't about you (or you), so don't get your panties in a bunch.
Unless it is.
In which case, shit!?!
You read my blog??
And bunch away, dear hateful panties.

You make me feel dead inside.
You suck the joy out of living.
You make me clench my jaw in a way that gives me a headache shooting up to my temples.
On days that I don't have to see you I breathe an audible sigh of relief.
The sound of your heels clicking on the floor makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck.
I go out of my way to avoid interaction with you.

Your inability and/or unwillingness to pick up on the many social cues signaling my distaste for you leave me baffled.

No, I will never invite you to do anything with me.


I'm sorry.

But my happiness is more important to me than your....whatever it is you do.

So I guess I'm not really sorry, since I only apologize when I wish I had behaved differently.
*Phrase taken from Holly, who is a goddess.