31 August 2009

What have you been up to?

*Went to Toys/Babies R Us for a baby shower gift, and I went up down every single aisle with Gabriel. He can't imagine anything better. This is better than the zoo! Than the aquarium! Look at all these toys! He was very good and didn't pitch a single fit. I listened to his lengthy explanation of what kind of birthday party he wants to have, and who should come, and what presents I should buy him.

*Went to my cousin's baby shower, which was quite nice. I ate my weight in vanilla scones, spread generously with lemon curd and whipped cream. Then I went ahead and ate some rose petals, to prove that they were edible (rose petals are edible, in case you're wondering).

*Went out with my sister. We encountered a bachelor party from Manteca or Modesto or Merced or somewhere like that. It involved the drunk soon-to-be Groom crawling around on the floor trying to put money in the jukebox, and me scolding that same bachelor in the scary voice I reserve for Very Naughty Children, and him sulking in the corner for the rest of the night (he said some racist stuff, I reprimanded him). One of his friends came up to me and my sister and said, "I might as well learn your names, since I'm sure you're drinking off our tab."
"Excuse me but I'm drinking off my own tab. I don't mind telling you my name, but you sure as shit didn't purchase the rights to knowing it."
There was an excess of people touching my back. I was wearing a tube top, and I do have a massive and awesome tattoo, but I still don't want you, Hells Angels Biker Man, tracing the lines of my shoulder blades with your finger. I don't like to be touched without permission, be it explicit or implied. You have neither.
It was a fun night (<- that's not sarcasm; I really did have a lot of fun)

*My mom had my sister and I clean out my grandfather's refrigerator and chest freezer. It involved mold (how does frost mold? Please to explain). And clam base. And a vegetable that was originally a cucumber or a jalapeno; it's hard to say. I told Daniel that I thought we might have to lower him into the chest freezer to clean out the bottom. He left! Useless boy....My sister stripped down to her bra and underwear at one point because she was worried about bleach stains. There may or may not be about 80lbs of frozen spaghetti sauce in my parents' trash cans. The garbage truck doesn't come until Friday. Our plan, if our dad asks why the garbage is so heavy, and why it smells so bad, is to claim absolute ignorance.

*I stuck my bus pass SOMEWHERE MYSTERIOUS yesterday. I remember putting it in my car and thinking "Okay Dumbass, this is a stupid place to put your bus pass." But WHERE? Where was the stupid place that I put it??

*Gabriel asked me to teach him to read. We've been working on that.

*Gabriel wants to take dance lessons.

*I have some video of Gabriel showing me how to do push-ups. I'll upload it soon.