12 May 2009

When crippling anxiety keeps me from writing

I've been living with a torturous anxiety knot in my stomach for a couple weeks now. Not only is giving myself an ulcer superduper lots of fun, I can't sit still or look at or think about anything for any significant amount of time. So I haven't been writing. I've been taking some Worth 1,000 Words pho-toes, but that's about all I can manage.

This is a 100% accurate portrayal of how I feel about my phone, and anything that has to do with using it. I've noticed that my friends have a hard time understanding how stupefyingly ghetto and frustrating to use this piece of crap is. So don't be surprised if you see me and I shove it in your face demanding, "I dare you to use it. Send a text message without accidentally turning it off. Go ahead, I dare you." Then you will understand.

As an aside, this picture should also give you a shockingly good idea of C's World View.

Julia & C, as a couple, in a nutshell:


The wee little person who keeps me sane and brings me joy. The same little person whose very existence creates a whole world of angst and worry and Protective Mother Bear Hands Off I Will Fuck You Up Mother Fucker:


What else is there?
I think that everyone who works at Victoria's Secret should be shot. Particularly the supremely unhelpful little bitches I dealt with on Saturday.
I think "Loss Prevention Specialist" is the worst security guard title I've ever seen.
This guy asking us for money on the walk home Saturday sang a song that I've had stuck in my head ever since. I'm considering doing a video clip for express purpose of bringing it into your world.
I also want to learn me some animation so I can properly reenact the time a 40-year-old stripper slathered in Lubriderm did a naked handstand onto my friend Ben's face.

I reviewed a book over at Disgraced Shopping (adult material)

The super hot Room 704 Ladies let me share one of my vanilla vodka plus question mark equals magic concoctions.

If you really miss me and my words, I've been discussing muscle relaxers in twitter. Yes, my updates are protected. It's The Strategical, so if you request to follow me, you have a 99.999997% chance of a yes vote. So if I say no, you can REALLY feel bad about yourself.


  1. I'm anxious on your behalf. The thought of someone threatening my relationship with my son or my ability to see him is nauseating. I can't imagine how shitty you feel. And it's TOTALLY UNFAIR AND UNNECESSARY. Auuuugh.

  2. I am sorry. :( I hate that you are going through this crap. I hope that your sweet boy or lots of vanilla vodka help you feel better. :)

  3. big hugs to you mama!!!

    I have been where you are now and this too will pass ....just keep keeping on...and vodka is an amazing elixir!


    ps my new blog is now open to everyone...I decided to fuck the whole privacy thing...fuck it fuck them....but smooches to you

  4. I'm sorry but I've met ur Ex and gotten to see him in action. He is about as interested as little man as any other dead beat. He is just using little man as some sort of pawn to get back at you or to control you in some way. That man is really SOB.

  5. Hmm, the phone complaint might explain the hour and a half it took you to text me back Saturday night. ;)

  6. Daniel, I am texting you in that picture. True fact.

  7. So, new things went down in the last week or two? E-mail me and let me know how you're doing. The pic of you and the kid is to die for.

  8. The policy at Victoria's Secret is to hire the most self-absorbed, image-obsessed, heinous bitches known to man...I should know I worked there for a total of 3 weeks because I needed a second job and could feel my soul slowly being sucked out of me...don't let anything that happens in that store EVER affect you!!

  9. My Crackberry puts that same look on my face. The last time I got completely annoyed with it, I gently tossed it into my purse, and it somehow ended up with a cracked screen. Now, it's a Crackedberry ;(

    I've been so busy that I'm not so sure what you're anxious about, but I'm going to stalk all of the posts I've missed and try to figure it out. From the comments, I think I know, but I'll stalk anyway.

    Feel better, girl! Don't let whatever or whoever get you down ;)

  10. Love the picture of you and Gabby. Too adorable. And you're right, everyone at Victoria's Secret should have a special place in hell.

  11. That pic of you guys is so sweet. And hey! I'm one of your labels. Wooo!

  12. Like Lola, I'm not sure what I missed, but I have an idea.

    I'm sure your phone is not as bad as my piece of shit that can't even hold the correct time.