I've been living with a torturous anxiety knot in my stomach for a couple weeks now. Not only is giving myself an ulcer superduper lots of fun, I can't sit still or look at or think about anything for any significant amount of time. So I haven't been writing. I've been taking some Worth 1,000 Words pho-toes, but that's about all I can manage.
This is a 100% accurate portrayal of how I feel about my phone, and anything that has to do with using it. I've noticed that my friends have a hard time understanding how stupefyingly ghetto and frustrating to use this piece of crap is. So don't be surprised if you see me and I shove it in your face demanding, "I dare you to use it. Send a text message without accidentally turning it off. Go ahead, I dare you." Then you will understand.
As an aside, this picture should also give you a shockingly good idea of C's World View.
Julia & C, as a couple, in a nutshell:
The wee little person who keeps me sane and brings me joy. The same little person whose very existence creates a whole world of angst and worry and Protective Mother Bear Hands Off I Will Fuck You Up Mother Fucker:
What else is there?
I think that everyone who works at Victoria's Secret should be shot. Particularly the supremely unhelpful little bitches I dealt with on Saturday.
I think "Loss Prevention Specialist" is the worst security guard title I've ever seen.
This guy asking us for money on the walk home Saturday sang a song that I've had stuck in my head ever since. I'm considering doing a video clip for express purpose of bringing it into your world.
I also want to learn me some animation so I can properly reenact the time a 40-year-old stripper slathered in Lubriderm did a naked handstand onto my friend Ben's face.
I reviewed a book over at Disgraced Shopping (adult material)
The super hot Room 704 Ladies let me share one of my vanilla vodka plus question mark equals magic concoctions.
If you really miss me and my words, I've been discussing muscle relaxers in twitter. Yes, my updates are protected. It's The Strategical, so if you request to follow me, you have a 99.999997% chance of a yes vote. So if I say no, you can REALLY feel bad about yourself.