26 March 2009

We have been trained as homing pigeons

Before I outline my Zombie Plan, I must tell you two things:

1. Gabriel's dad has thought excessively about a zombie plan, and when we were together, I saw every zombie movie ever made, and we discussed at length how we would defend our home not if, but WHEN zombies came. As a result, I am now trained to evaluate buildings for relative zombie safety.

2. My parents' honest-to-jesus Emergency Action Plan is this: walk home. That applies to all children, wherever we are, presumably in the world. Walk home.

So. My apartment is NOT good for zombies. It's on the first floor, and there are many windows and doors that could be easily penetrated, and I don't have much by way of good furniture to use for barricading purposes. Also, we'd run out of food and water fairly quickly, and I don't have any zombie fighting weaponry.
Hopefully if zombies come, I'd already be at my parents' house. The structure itself is not particularly zombie-proof, but our nearest neighbors are over a mile away, so there's good possibility that our remoteness would provide protection.
And since we've been through some natural disasters (earthquake, fire and flood) I know that we have the following to pull us through: a well, a wood-burning stove, chickens, large food stores, and a good deal of food that's grown on-site. Oh! And guns! We have guns! I'm fairly confident of the J-/Kane ability to secede from society with a fair amount of ease.

Since our general natural disaster plan is to convene at my parents' house, I'm fairly certain that at the first sign of anything out of the ordinary I would head up there. That's what I do now, if the weather seems odd, or I'm running low on eggs. Plus I think that the zombies would tend to center in big cities, so we would have a bit of warning before it hits here. If driving wasn't an option, I'd bike, and if I couldn't bike, I'd strap Gabe on my back and walk home. I'd befriend sexily rugged men with guns as necessary.

4 comments:

  1. did I miss something? Zombies? huh? LOL

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  2. Bad form on your part! Now the zombies will know exactly where you are and come get you! Never divulge your strategy!! They do surf the net you know.

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  3. This is a big upgrade on the Twilight-talk.

    Anyway, it seems your planning came right on time:
    http://sfist.com/2009/03/26/images_zombie_swarm.php?tsp=1

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  4. I like you Zombie Plan. Chad does this too.

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I live for validation.