I was supposed to read a book. This book. I was a gleeful participant in Lil Sass's TJCTR Bookclub. I was the one who suggested the time line/due date of reading the book by today. Plenty of time. Easy Peasy. I'm constantly reading. I can read a couple books a week.
And it's not like I haven't quite finished it, or I never got into it, or whatever.
I haven't even cracked the cover.
The slightly redeemable aspect is that I haven't read ANYTHING in the last month, as opposed to times past when I've read all kinds of things, just NOT the book I was supposed to. Although. I haven't read anything this month. The fuck? I haven't been doing anything this month. What have I been doing? I usually read at night, in bed. What have I been doing instead?
I still don't have internet at home, so not that.
I'm still involuntarily celibate, so not that.
I still don't don't have cable, so not that.
I still haven't touched my knitting or my crafts, so not that.
Seriously? Where have I been?
For the past month or so I've been going to bed at around 8 o'clock. 9 if I'm really pushing it. Earlier than 8 if I can get Gabe to fall asleep. I haven't been waking up any earlier, if you're wondering. I've just been sleeping for 10 hours a night. And taking naps on the weekends. And sitting at work, totally exhausted, guzzling coffee. Coffee which does nothing for me, as I still drag myself home, aimlessly throw dinner together, commence with getting Gabey ready for bedtime, and fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Then wake up the next day, just as exhausted.
Yesterday morning I had a dentist appointment, so I got to sleep in an extra hour and a half, and have a more relaxed morning. I went to bed at 9 the night before, slept until 730, and couldn't peel myself out of bed.
Lil Sass, honey, darling, love.
I failed. I suck. I didn't even try to read the book. Let alone on time.
I'm just so tired you see. All the time.