15 December 2008

Another weekend, another vagina fruit UPDATED (AGAIN)

One of the girls I lived with when I went to UCSB was the adorable Miss Daphne. AND....I haven't seen her since I left Santa Barbara. She planned this Vegas birthday trip last winter, which ended up being a big FAIL on my part. But. She was visiting Monica this weekend (all the way from Phoenix), and they came down here on Saturday! Squee! Daphne and Gabe had the pleasure of meeting, and I'm pretty sure it was love at first sight. We wandered around downtown, went to the park, ate a couple few times. Twas lovely. Daphne let's not wait another 5 years, okay? Because I lovey you. And five years is a long-ass time.

Saturday night I went to a party with my sister and Aurora. A "speakeasy" themed party. Although I feel the need to point out that a few too many people got Prohibition Era United States tragically confused with the London of Charles Dickens, which resulted in a man in a top hat, and another dressed as what my sister and I could only interpret as Bob Cratchet. My favorite (and I felt most accurate) costume was the girl dressed as a bootlegger. We kicked off the night by drinking screw-top miniature bottles of champagne in the car, with Aurora insisting that we gaze at the "hill top view." We tried and failed to play Badminton. It turns out that you probably shouldn't play racket sports when you're too drunk to figure out how to jump on a trampoline. Somehow, someway, we stayed out WAY TOO LATE, and by the time I got home, stumbled drunkenly around my house, and crawled into bed, I think it was 4 am. I DON'T DO THAT. I NEVER stay out that late.

My mom called at nine Sunday morning to let me know that she was bringing Gabriel over soonish. I didn't attempt to leave my bed until she was physically at my door. Gabriel and I napped together, and then K.Dot came to visit Gabe. He brought a Christmas tree, which solved my problems. I don't really have any ornaments, so I decorated it with lights and candy canes. Gabriel and I went to bed at round about 830, and I'm still exhausted this morning. Gabriel asking why we couldn't just stay home and snuggle in bed did not help with my resolve. Not even a little bit. But here I am at work, and after today I only have 6 more days of work before I get 10 off, which will be blissful and lovely.

Is anyone else freezing their a$$ off? I swear to Jesus last week it was pleasant and warm, this week there are icicles on my car.

UPDATE: Okay so it turns out I'm not allowed to mention vagina fruit in my title and then not explain it EVEN A LITTLE in my post. Who'da thunk it? At Bob Cratchet's party on Saturday, at some point beyond the one where I became intoxicated enough to discuss the relative pros and cons of reviewing sex toys online (pros are free sex toys, cons are that this is probably considered sleezy by society in general), someone from somewhere brought in a vagina fruit to eat. Or that's what everyone was calling it; I'm willing to bet good money that it has a more sciency name somewhere out there. I tried Googling it, and do yourself a favor: Don't. Well, unless you want to learn what the peoples of the internet want to refer to as vagina fruit. Anyhow, it smelled like ass and was super hard and spiky on the outside and weirdly soft and pulpy on the inside, and it wasn't delicious, so I sort of feel like it's "party name" was insulting to the vagina. Tragically, I don't have a photo.

The Durian:

12 comments:

  1. yes... freezing ... even before the artic blast I was wearing my thermals...

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  2. I live in England now, therefore, cold and rainy.

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  3. You failed to mention the actual vagina fruit or post a picture.

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  4. Vagina fruit? Would that be a kumquat? Or a cum-twat, as we like to call them :).

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  5. Aurora, I haven't uploaded my pictures yet, and I sort of wanted to find out what it was called besides vagina fruit. Although maybe I shouldn't have put it in the post title?

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  6. Love the new blog design, I must see a picture of this fruit. You can't say vagina and fruit and not post a picture.

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  7. -28'c here yesterday. Yes, your snot can freeze. And yes, I wish I was anywhere else.

    It's warmed up to -11 now but that means it's snowing. *twitch*

    Maybe you are fighting off a virus? Or mono? I say give in and spend 10 days in bed. Ahhhhhhh. I think I just convinced myself.

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  8. It was nineteen below here yesterday (the same as in the post above mine after some handy conversions). Simply too cold to be fair. I turned into a popsicle waiting for a ride (as I refused to walk home in that nonsense).

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  9. Here comes another comment about your title. Please explain, what is the meaning of "vagina fruit". This expression is disgusting, hilarious and fascinating all at the same time. If you don't have an explanation please make one up.

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  10. This fruit you describe? It's called Durian. Common in Southeast Asia. Smells like feces. It's for sale at the Chinese market five blocks from our house.

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  11. The only thing I can imagine to be worse than a durian is fermented durian. Thanks for the update!

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  12. Are you sure that was safe to eat? And how big was that thing?

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