28 December 2018

2018 in Review

1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?
A lot of new medical tests. Oh I saw a show on Broadway!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
This is my answer to this quiz when I last did it in 2016, and I am copying it verbatim: "Not really, and I don't think so. I've been pretty meh on resolutions the past couple years. I resolve to stay alive."

 3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Molly and Julia!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I am getting confused because I skipped my yearly quiz in 2017. I was going to tell you that my grandfather died, but that was LAST year. Anyway, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
Here is what I wrote in 2015 and 2016 and maybe 2014 IDK:
None. The last time I left the country was when I visited my brother Duncan in Chile in 2005. I got my passport renewed the year a dear high school friend got married in Mexico (2008? 2009 maybe?) because I really WANTED to go to her wedding, but I was just too poor. I hope I need it at least once before it expires.
However adding: I plan to leave the country in 2019. I think.

6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
I dunno. Nothing. Everything. I'm in a weird headspace.

7. What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
2/10/18 - James's wedding
3/7/18 - Arlo hospitalized (pneumonia)
3/14/18 -First cancer surgery day
8/2/18 - Second cancer surgery day
9/26/18 - CT Scan day (also my mom's birthday, heyo)
11/9/18 - First UCSF cancer treatment day

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I got TWO promotions, which is pretty badass when you consider that I have three children and two of them are babies, and I have stage 4 cancer, and basically just a fucking lot going on outside of work. I'm a director!

9. What was your biggest failure?
I have spent my entire adult life irrationally convinced that I was going to die of melanoma, which is why I was so good about preventive screenings and dermatology visits, and I mean, I KNOW that this is not logical, but I feel like manifested my own disease somehow. The combination of a little bit psychic and a little bit anxious is the worst.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Fuck yes. So much.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I bought like nine pairs of Rothy's shoes and I love them so much I have no regrets.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Most of my friends have been very lovely and supportive.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My forever answer is Gabriel's dad (the worst!). I've also had some friends who are just...not very good friends, it turns out. 

14. Where did most of your money go?
I've been trying like hell to shop my way out of being sad. Spent a lot of money on Christmas. Also medical bills, debt.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My brother's wedding was super fun (I love weddings!). My friend Molly visited me and even though the reason was shitty, the weekend was great. I got to meet her baby!

16. What song will always remind you of 2018?
This Is America but I'm only listing that one as my answer because I took Gabriel to his first concert (!) and it was Childish Gambino and it was great.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Mostly sadder. With a side of BRIMMING WITH HAPPINESS AND A HEART TOO FULL re: my family.
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner! I had to wean the baby to start treatment, and also food tastes like sawdust now.
c) richer or poorer? I actually think richer. My expenses have increased quite a bit but so has my income.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sniffing the backs of my sons' heads. Maybe gazing at them while they slept.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I'd done a better job of ignoring work drama.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
The weekend before we went to Tahoe. The babies saw snow for the first time! Gabriel went snowboarding at Heavenly (best view in Tahoe, no question). My lovely friend let us use her cabin, and it was all done up for Christmas and there were Christmas movies and books and chunky toddler puzzles and hot chocolate and it was very lovely. We drove back on the 23rd. Christmas Eve we went to my grandma's which is our usual. Christmas day we kicked around our house in the morning (kids were delightful with their new crap), visited my MIL in the middle of the day, had dinner at my parents' house. Overall I think it was very nice.

21. Did you fall in love in 2018?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
IDK. Pass.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
Spinning Silver.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Vince Staples opened for Childish Gambino and I was pleasantly surprised!

26. What did you want and get?
Raise, promotion, the elliptical has been removed from my home.

27. What did you want and not get?
The elliptical is under a tarp on my deck.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
As usual I see very, VERY few movies. I saw Black Panther and it was awesome! Oh I also saw Bohemian Rhapsody which was also awesome! On a flight I watched Crazy Rich Asians and The Spy Who Dumped Me and they were both thoroughly entertaining.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I think I worked. Oh I did work. My mom took me out to lunch. I turned 36.

30. What is one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less cancer.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
More Cozy Sweaters.

32. What kept you sane?
My babies.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I love how British this questions sounds. Michael B. Jordan is super hot.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
fucking donald trump and the complete fucking dumpster fire that is our national political stage

35. Who did you miss?
My brother James moved to MO and I miss him!

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Baby George!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.
Sometimes you do everything right and it still all goes wrong.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Make sure my sister knows I loved her
Make sure my mother knows the same
Always remember, there was nothing worth sharing
Like the love that let us share our name

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