26 May 2015

What I really want to talk about is poop categories (not my own specifically)

I find myself unsure of which specific pieces of information I need to provide in order to tell the internet about acupuncture, and then poop categorization technique, so I'll just start throwing stuff out there.

One thing is that I'm pregnant!
I'm due 9/20, and I find that being a decade older this time around is....more physically challenging. I think that there's a reason we are at our most fertile in our teens and early 20s, and it has to do with back pain and exhaustion.

So a related thing, is that when I was pregnant with Gabriel, I hummed along just fine until my third trimester, at which point I filled up like water balloon. I gained 40 (or possibly more) lbs, nearly all of it water weight.
I looked like a swollen monster.
I couldn't wear shoes.
It was terrible.
They tested me for all sorts of things, and by all sorts of things I mean they made me do the gestational diabetes test twice, and repeatedly tested me for pre-eclampsia. So really they just tested me for two things, but it felt like a lot at the time.
I had neither.
And then I had my baby and my body decided to drain itself, but I'm left with unpleasant memories and angry stretch marks.

Another thing is that I'm mostly into western medicine. I think it's good to take a holistic approach, and listen to your body, and blah blah, but I believe in doctors and generally trust them to do their doctorly thing. I fretted at my midwife about swollen monster legs, and she recommended acupuncture, as a thing that sometimes helps people, and might work for me. Which sounds pretty nifty. I'm down.

Anyhow, I think those are all the things I need to share.

Oh wait I want to share one more thing. Even after this appointment I still have no idea how acupuncture is even supposed to work in theory. I realize this is something I could google. MAYBE I WILL. 

Moving on. Monday (yesterday, for the layman) I had my initial acupuncture appointment, which included an exhaustive medical history interview/screening, where we went through every medical problem I've ever had in my life, and I'm certain my acupuncturist now knows more about my personal health than any doctor I've ever seen. And it's weird how much I'm willing to forget!
No, no broken bones. Oh wait I broke my foot once.
Hang on I HAVE had surgeries. Several!

And now we are to the question that has been plaguing my mind for the past 24 hours.
If you had to put your bowel movements in one of the following four categories, would it be:
- Sausage
- Pebbles
- Coleslaw
- Oatmeal

I cannot express how fascinated I am by these poop categories.
And how horrified I am by the thought of experiencing coleslaw.


  1. I'm not... no, I'm not answering that. Nope.

  2. The Coleslaw option is horrifying.
    Also, Congrats! Hope you have a smooth pregnancy from here out.

  3. THIS is your pregnancy announcement post? Poop categories?

  4. Um... how did I miss this post?!
    Congrats ... so excited for the three (almost four) of you!
    I have had acupuncture many times in different settings and no one has ever asked me (THANKFULLY) about poop categories. I feel like I dodged a bullet on that one!