08 October 2012

Very Traumatic Toilet Experience

Last night I had a Very Traumatic Toilet Experience.
Live animals leaping out of the toilet to eat me was, prior to this occasion, on the list of things that I'm afraid of in an, "I will glance in the toilet before I sit" sort of way, but not in a, "When I glance in the toilet there will actually be a living creature there" way.

Those are totally different ways to be afraid of something.

To illustrate:
I keep my shower curtain open because I don't want a serial killer to hide in my shower.
If someone (my mother, for instance) is at my house, and thinks that perhaps I would prefer that my shower curtain be pulled closed because of 'mildew' or whatever, then sometimes my shower curtain is closed when I go to the bathroom.
So I will open it, and hope that there's not a man waiting to stab me on the other side.
But I open it EXPECTING my shower to be empty.
I am LOOKING for a serial killer, but I am EXPECTING to find nothing.
That's how I was with live animals in my toilet.
I was LOOKING for a snake or a monster or WHATEVER, but I was EXPECTING to find nothing.

Imagine my surprise.

In my panic, I flushed it down the toilet, so I don't think it's alive anymore.

And my fear of live animals in my toilet has elevated to the kind where I am ACTIVELY EXPECTING TO FIND AN ANIMAL.