22 February 2012

Life running past in February of 2012

My internship is….going.
Which is not to say that I’m not enjoying myself.
I am. 
“Enjoying yourself as an accountant?”
Yes, which is the precisely the reason I decided to rejigger my life and jump off the deep end and change everything. I wanted to do something that I enjoyed. More to the point, I wanted to do something that would allow some measure of financial comfort, that I also enjoyed. It’s a tricky balance.
So I enjoy my internship.
But I’m not settled, and school is in the back of my mind and the pit of my stomach.
I’m not done yet.
This isn’t school.
I have to go back to school.

Oh god, I have to go back to school.

I am in an accelerated master’s program. In 2011, this translated to 31 consecutive weeks of condensed coursework, with a major paper or exam due almost daily, combined with a fervor of recruiting maintained at a level that simply cannot be healthy. By the time, this past December, that I got my first break from the unending slam of The Next Important Thing, I was a shadow of myself, drinking to get drunk, skipping showers for days and days at a time, showing up late, leaving early.
I needed a break.
I have suggested, for future classes, that they build one into the program. Breaks are necessary. Universities have term breaks for a reason. I argue that one reason is to keep their best students from falling off a high stool, drunk off whiskey in a dive bar the afternoon before their final project is due.
The spring and summer will be easier. I have a job to go to upon graduation, effectively eliminating the interview process that I find so trying. Six consecutive classes, with no break. Six is a lot, but it is not 12. I start classes again on April 17. My last day of classes is July 6.
My graduation paperwork is filled out and turned in.
I can see the end.
July 6.
I can surely do that.
I’m telling myself I can do that.
Until then, my internship is going.
And I’m enjoying myself.

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