25 April 2011

25 April 2011

I'm tired, all the time.
My attention problems are at all time levels of dysfunction. 
I have a knot of anxiety in the pit of my stomach.
I'm spinning and spinning and spinning in circles.
I need a pause button.
Just so I can catch up, just a little bit.
--
On Friday we took Gabriel to The Boardwalk.  I normally only take him on Tuesdays (when it's cheap), but he's been gazing at the roller coasters from our rooftop, and I was bored.
We walked there in the fog and dusk.
We rode the merry-go-round. 
We played skeeball, we walked downtown for pizza and ice cream, we collapsed at home all tired and sticky.
--
I'm stressed. 
Ridiculously so.
There aren't enough hours in the day, or dollars in the bank.
I have too much to do at work before I leave (two more weeks!), too much to do in school before I go on to the next round (I have to pass these classes!).
--
Saturday we dyed Easter Eggs, I drank too much rum at my sister's house, I stayed up late filling plastic eggs with treats and arranging Easter baubles, I fell asleep woozy from the day.
Sunday the rain canceled our Easter picnic, too many of us swirled around in too small a space, I ate and ate and ate and ignored my homework and ate some more.
--
I'm stressed.
I'm exhausted
I'm anxious.
But life is pretty good.

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