Showing newest 26 of 27 posts from January 2010. Show older posts
Showing newest 26 of 27 posts from January 2010. Show older posts

29 January 2010

At the end of this, there's a prize!

Edit: The correct answer does appear in the comments. I'm going to announce who won at some point today, and start putting a Miss Grace Care Package together thusly.

(click to embiggen)

The person not related to my by blood or marriage to accurately guess wtf my sister and I are talking about gets a care package prize!  If there are more than one of you I will come up with a clever way to select, such as random.org, or maybe I'll choose with glitter!  Tell your friends!

Parental Failure

My son turned four.
Four!
We did stuff!
Fun stuff!
We went swimming in the rain.
We had cake.
Extra playtime.
Lots of prezzies.
Guess who only took one picture of her kid?  Go on, guess!
Four
At least he's smiling?

28 January 2010

GTT - Beauty Secrets



I don't know if any of what follows are 'secrets' exactly, but, y'know, here's some stuff I do.

-I use my flat iron to fix my clothing hems when I'm too lazy to iron.
-I try only to buy clothes that flatter my figure, even if they're not the clothes that are currently en vogue.
-I use a foundation primer.
-I use sunscreen religiously.  I used to work for a plastic surgeon. I HAVE SEEN THE DAMAGE OF THE RAYS OF THE SUN (also? I'm white).  I put the extra face sunscreen on the backs of my hands because your hands are exposed to the sun more than any other part of your body and there's no such thing as cosmetic hand surgery. And hands age very badly with ropey veins and sun spots and leatheriness.
-I drink an absurd amount of water.
-I try to get enough sleep.
-I try to distract from my squishiness with my boobs.
-I brush my teeth a lot.
-I exfoliate.
-I don't wash my hair every day because if I wash it too often it starts to get all simultaneously oily plus dry = bizarro unattractive.
-I buy expensive makeup
-I only date people who think I'm hot.

That's all I got. What about you?

27 January 2010

Diptych - Play



I do my diptychs in collaboration with Kellee.
Explanation here.
If you are working on your own, feel free to add to the Mr. Linky.
Next week Kellee and I are working with 'fresh' as our theme, or you can choose your own.

26 January 2010

Four

Today.
Today you are four. 

You are good at so many things.
You are so many good things.
You are strong and brave and sweet.
You are full of sunshine.
You are four.
You are so big.
You are still so small.
The person you are has made me the person I am.
I love you to pieces.
I love everything about you.
Four.
Today, you are four.
Let's have the very best day.


Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

(Pictures may not appear in reader)

25 January 2010

Pictures from the Wedding

IMG_6555

IMG_6556

IMG_6565
(She's imitating my champagne-related rage)

Bathroom Coutoure
(Bizarre piece of antique furniture in the bathroom)

IMG_6569
(There were only 4 of us at the table. All of those drinks are ours)

My sister is a zombie trying to EAT ME
(My sister playing the part of creeper)

IMG_6597
She won the centerpiece.  W00T

IMG_6647

IMG_6651

IMG_6657

All pictures are here

23 January 2010

1-2-3

Today, in 1975, Gabriel's father was born.
Today, in 1978, my parents got married.
Today, in various years, various friends of mine and friends of friends were born (according to facebook, there are five of you! Hi guys!  Hope today is super!)
Today, in 2006, I was thinking OHMYGOD WHEN WILL THE BABY COME OUT OF MY BELLY.
And today, today, my friend Jenny is getting married. 

I'm in L.A., to watch it happen.

22 January 2010

#BlogHer5

Did you know that BlogHer is turn five??

My favorite photos taken (by me) at a BlogHer event.  They're all from BlogHer09, cuz I was sucktastic at taking pics at BlogHer08

Mr. Lady is even hotter in person

I'm mythical

FLINGER!!!

Avitable

What love looks like

21 January 2010

GTT - Feeling Peevish



A list of things that make me shoot hate rays out of my eyeholes, presented in no particular order

- Being touched without permission.  This is a weird one because I am actually a touchy-feely cuddle whore. BUT ONLY WHEN I DESIGNATE THAT RELATIONSHIP.  Strangers, or even known parties with whom Touch Boundary Crossing has not been cleared? Squicks me right the fuck out and makes me go all shrinkydink inside of myself BACK AWAY DO NOT WANT WHERE IS MY INVISIBILITY CLOAK RUN AWAY RUN AWAY.
(A couple people have asked me if my tattoo makes douchefuckers touch my back more, and while they NOW touch my back under the guise of tattoo inspection, they are the very same who found other excuses before)

-Related to above, sorta, people touching my face. Do not like or want. Exception: If we are currently making out/doin' it. Obvs.

-People who engage in weird personal hygiene in public.  Read: toenail clipping, flossing, etc.

-Going out to eat with friends, splitting the bill, and discovering that someone is a shitty tipper.  And then having to pay more than you ought to make sure waitress still gets a decent tip.

-Loud cell phone talkers. On public transport especially, although really anywhere.

-The following outfit, which seems especially popular amongst the 19-22 year-old hoochie college student crowd:  Ugg boots, mini-skirt/booty shorts, teensy shirt, scarf.  If your feet and your neck are that cold? WEAR A FUCKING SWEATER.

-When people end relationships (friend or romantic) by NEVER CALLING AGAIN OR RESPONDING TO YOU.  There's mutual drift-out-of-touch stuff, and that's fine, but intentional non-response as a means of moving on?  Seriously bugs me.  I try never to do it.

-Creepy fuckers on the internet.  And if you are wondering, "Could she possibly be talking about me?" Then the answer is probably yes, because if there's ANY reason AT ALL that you're asking that question?  Then you know in your soul that you're a creepo and seriously? Cut that shit out.  I know I have a website about boobs and I also know that I'm single and I also know that I have a vajay but seriously?  No. The answer is no.
(For further information on this subject, please see Holly's post)

Daniel, 13

Daniel,

Of the five of us, it's definitely you who's the funniest.  Seriously, you crack my shit up.  You've been spot-on, grown-up funny since you were about five years old.
These days you know you're funny, and you've been perfecting your routines. Impressions of your math teacher. Your rants about ketchup packets.

Daniel James

You're the youngest but you're already almost taller than me, a state your older brothers didn't reach for another couple years.  I keep telling James that he should stop beating on you because you're going to be bigger than him, and you're freakishly strong in the same way that I am but James is not. So he needs to cut that shit out before he gets his ass kicked.

IMG_0888

I have no idea what to buy you for your birthday.  As far as I can tell you like:

-Weird, flamboyant high top shoes
-Flat brimmed hats
-Video games
-Various remote-controlled devices
-MAYBE your skateboard and your bike, but I'm unsure
-Your iPod

The shoes and hats are out, cuz you have to pick those out yourself.  The only video games I play are those old school gameboy ones that you need the gameboy advance for cuz they don't work on the DS.  I can't care about remote controlled anythingatall.  I'd get you iTunes gift cards but since I just got a bunch for Christmas, there would be no way to prove that it's not a regift.

Daniel & Neighbor

So.

You're 13.

Happy birthday.

IMG_0943

20 January 2010

Diptych - Water


I do my diptychs in collaboration with Kellee.
Explanation here.
If you are working on your own, feel free to add to the Mr. Linky.
Next week Kellee and I are working with 'play' as our theme, or you can choose your own.

19 January 2010

TRAPPED

Twitter does NOT take me seriously.  Here are some tweets I sent out earlier today (start at the bottom and read up, click to embiggen):

(Ignore the scribbly ones, they're not related)
Anyhow, I sent out the first several, and got no response, so I drew a picture (which garnered the appropriate level of WTF where is your kid for which I was searching).
(Again, click to biggify)

Gabey's fine, he's with my parents.  But he's TRAPPED! IN THE MOUNTAINS!
And I'mma miss seeing him tonight.

18 January 2010

I've been feeling all angsty and teenaged lately.  For no discernible reason.  I'm still quite pleased with 2010 and all the ways that it hasn't sucked balls, but I've also spent the whole of it to date with a pit-of-my-stomach anxiety that I'm not really used to.

I suppose if I get myself to psychoanalyzing it's probably my overarching sense of IMPENDING DOOM, hanging around because nothing's happened to piss me off or make me cry for awhile now, and my body is trying to brace me for what it's pretty sure is coming.
Meanwhile my brain is trying uselessly to reassure and be all 'Check it yo, we're cool.' 

Anyhow, sometimes I get all Crazy Anxious and I've been that way of late, and it's weird.  Cuz previous times I've felt this way include:
-As an insecure preteen/teenager
-Immediately after doing FILL IN THE BLANK stupid and socially inadvisable Thing in college
-When trying to deny to myself that live in boyfriend was Lying Cheater McCheaterston
-When mothering an infant that cried inconsolably for at least 6 hours a day for the first 6 months of his life
-When on welfare and terrified of my life falling down all around my ears

So you can see, previous UNEXPLAINABLE ANGST has in fact been extraordinarily explainable.  But I don't have a good reason for this, in my brain or in my gut or anything else. 

And I still feel all fluttery and hovery and lacking in purpose and OH MY GOD WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN IS IT SOMETHING BAD I BET IT IS.  It's slightly manic, not in a good way, and I need my sleep.
Is the world about to end? No? Then cut it out, nervous system.  I don't need this shit.

Save to Draft

The entire (albeit often nonsensical) text of some posts I currently have saved to draft.  Editorial notes have been added in italics:
--
(Related, my great-aunt's answering machine was the only place her voice was ever recorded. When she got throat cancer, it was the only place anyone would hear her voice.  After she passed away, you could still listen to her on the machine)

I have no idea what this is related to, or why it's parenthetical.  
--
Things my parents do not own:
Microwave
High speed internet

Things my parents DO own:
Chickens
Clothes line
Orchard
Garden

This looks like a pretty damn important list!
--
So. I walk at lunch (Often with Kat, but sometimes I ditch her for the hour of alone time and I think hope she loves me anyhow). I started out walking 1 1/2 miles in 45ish minutes.  Now I can do 2 in 35, so sometimes I add another lap (1/2 mile track) and make it 2 1/2, if I'm not too hot. And still have my 10 minutes to spare for dicking around.
Anyhow.
I'm not going to do any kind of lunch break exercise that involves breaking a sweat, because I'm not willing to incorporate the whole change/shower/change aspect. And I don't really like to sweat unless there's a post-perspire shower option.

If I had to guess, and apparently I do, this was going to be a post about my exercise routine.
--
I've been working on this sort of.....long term tidiness goal where in addition to MINIMAL MAINTENANCE TO AVOID LIVING IN FILTH, each weekend I try to tackle one thing extra.  Last weekend I got a pass because I was trying not to die.
But the weekend before that! I did my oven.
And before that! I scrubbed all that grossness from my bathtub grout and reorganized under the sink.
So this weekend I decided to readdress the problem of my desk.

buahahahaha I have no idea when this was written, but I can tell you for CERTAIN that my desk has not been addressed or readdressed or anything else. I AM SLOVENLY.
--

15 January 2010

Say Something Nice - K.Dot

I'm tired of complaining about Gabriel's dad. Here are some things that I like about him:

*He adores Gabriel.
*Gabriel adores him.
*He usually has a job.
*He's intelligent.
*He's musically and artistically talented.
*He's athletic.
*He's a good driver.
*He does spot on impressions.
*He has a nice voice.
*He doesn't have any health problems.
*I'm pretty sure he doesn't talk about me in front of Gabriel.
*His girlfriends are always quite likable.

Okay. That's it I think.  Let's all think of nice things to say about people?

14 January 2010

GTT - Your Favorite Body Part



I'm a girl, so it goes without say that I can pick apart and complain about most parts of my body.  Especially since I'm a mom and I REMEMBER what my body was like before.  Ah, the elusive before.

Anyways, Girl Talk Thursday this week is about joining The Mominatrix in celebrating your favorite body part. So here I am, NOT complaining.

I think I have a nice back.  That's why I decided to get it tattooed.  Cuz I like it.

3-25-09

IMG_6172
--
Edited because apparently it's Decreeper Day or something? I always miss this stuff. Anyhow, yeah, leave a comment today cuz it's Unlurking Festivus.  I think.

13 January 2010

Diptych - Paper

Diptych Paper

I do my diptychs in collaboration with Kellee. Explanation here. If you are working on your own, feel free to add to the Mr. Linky.
Next week Kellee and I are doing water, or you can choose your own theme.


11 January 2010

10 January 2010

The Job

Working at The Catalyst didn’t start out as a job.
Not a real one anyways.
I was a kid.
If I scraped the gum from the undersides of the tables, I could keep any change that I found under the desk in the office.
If I rolled all of the quarters I could keep what ever was left loose at the end.
It slowly got more specific, more 'job-like'. I graduated to a flat $10 if I came in on Saturday mornings and washed and folded all the rags, did whatever my mom or my grandpa or my sister or my aunt or whoever else was there told me to do without getting in the way.
I could have some of the tips at the end of the shift if I helped with the busing and the dishes.
I think I found myself on the payroll for the first time when I was 14 years old, coming in with my mom on the weekends for the breakfast rush.
My sister left for college when I was 15, which opened up the most coveted coat check job.  The coat check girl (up to that point my sister) didn’t get paid directly by the club, but got to keep all of the earnings she brought in, plus tips. For a sell out show this could easily mean coming home with $200 cash in my pocket, on Halloween or New Year’s Eve? You might come home with $350 (most nights I came home with something closer to $60-$70, but that was still nothing to snot at, especially in high school).
I worked most Friday and Saturday nights, plus any weeknights when there were big shows booked. On the weekends, I’d get off at 1:30 or 2 in the morning. My uncle Ben would drive me home after he finished closing down the bar, and after we had all counted out our money. We’d stop at Denny’s sometimes, and not get home till well after 3.
I still worked in the restaurant too. Friday happy hour. Thursday night showcase. Saturday morning breakfast. My mom would use me to fill in gaps in her schedule, when her college student waitresses were gone for spring break or out of town or too flaky to count on. For the bulk of my senior year she didn’t have a Tuesday person, and I went to work instead of school.
When I wasn't working, I was still there, bugging my mom while she counted the money, while she printed tickets, while she made the schedule, while she and my grandpa met with the booking agent. At night going to the shows, getting my friends in, behaving like a spoiled brat, smoking pot backstage, chatting with the cooks, visiting with friends.
Once I moved away for college, my mom would still schedule me to work weekends when I’d be in town. Sometimes she’d ask me to come home for a particular weekend because she was going to need an extra person on the counter for Saturday’s show. Sometimes I'd come home with friends just to see whichever big show.
She used to call me to ask if I’d heard of this or that group, if my friends had, how much they could sell tickets for, who would go.
We all worked there. Our friends all worked there. Our social circles all focused around The Catalyst. There was no such thing as a day or a night spent downtown without stopping by the office for a chat or a snack or a pee.
 My mom ran the restaurant. My uncle ran the bar. My sister waitressed. My brother cooked. My aunt baked.
My grandfather, of course, was the king of it all. There every morning, staying well into every night, baking, cooking, busing, tending bar, unclogging toilets. One thing you can say about my grandpa, he would never tell one of his employees to do a job that he wasn't willing to do himself.
In 2003 my grandfather sold The Catalyst.
We all learned to disengage from that chunk of our lives. Home base downtown shifted from the office there to his office around the corner. My grandpa stopped calling it The Joint, shifted from business owner to landlord.
We didn’t hang out there. We didn’t stop in to check out the shows. No more wandering backstage or through the kitchen or back up behind the lighting booth. As a business it’s shifted and changed. Most of the people from ‘the old days’ have picked up and moved on. No more garden room and no more art and no more street-level windows swung open to let in the air.

It’s still The Catalyst but it’s not the same.
The place my grandfather built, where I grew up, where so many of my friends grew up, is just a memory inside the walls.

09 January 2010

Does everyone feel better? Now let's pick apart MY FACE

How can you follow up a feel-good-celebrate-the-positives post?  With a tidy explanation of Things That Are Wrong With My Face, of course.


1.  Forehead - Jayzus my forehead is bigger than my hand.  My hair doesn't start until after my head tops off and starts working its way backwards, giving me a bulb-head look (hence the bangs you often see). Related but not specifically addressed are the forehead wrinkles, which come from having such a vast swath of skin with which to work - I scrunchle it often.

2.  Eyebrows. Where are you eyebrows?  You exist as but a question of a shadow, to be penciled in every morning in a futile attempt to break up the insurmountable area between my eyeballs and my hair.

3.  Eyes. Small, asymmetrical (the one on the left is longer and shorter), downward-slanting, and with strange stubbly little eyelashes.

4.  The bottom lines of my under-eye circles continue out of their designated area, cavorting across my entire cheek and bisecting them diagonally.

5.  I have a freckle mustache.  Sometimes people tell me I have dirt on my lip. Them's mah freckles bitches!

6.  I have a double chin.  It's hawt.

08 January 2010

My Compliments

The New Girl wrote a post about compliments that she consistently receives, and I thought that sounded like a nice idea, especially since the things I think I'm good at are not the same things I get complimented on.
--
My mouth/teeth - It's true that I have (never braced!) very straight, white teeth.  I tend to disregard this compliment because my teeth are horribly lacking a desire to STAY IN MY MOUTH, and to me, that's more important than how they look in there.

My boobs/waist/butt ratio - Some people like my rack and some people like my rear, but I most consistently get compliments on the overall proportions of my body, which do, lucky for me, stay relatively the same regardless of my pants size.  W00t for uniformity of weight loss and gain!

Freckles - I've always hated my freckles, but throughout my life there has always been a steady stream of freckle lovers to tell me that mine are cute.  I assume there are an equal, if not greater, number of freckle haters, but they keep it to themselves.

My face - There are about a million things about my face which I'm not really fond of (roundness, forehead height, eye smallness and asymmetry, eyebrow invisibleness, etc), but I have, throughout my life, been told that I'm pretty in the face, and I'm getting to a point where I just say thank you instead of pointing out my double chin and the funny lines that bisect my cheeks diagonally.

Memory - I have a very good memory.  Not quite as good as my sister's, but I still remember who I sat next to in second grade, and when your birthday is, and how to spell that guy's last name, and my work schedule my sophomore year in college, and every student ID number I've ever had, and the dreams I had in elementary school, and every Lego set anyone has ever given Gabriel.

The Things I Can Do With My Hair - My hair, while not in and of itself particularly exciting, is a sort of middling darkish blonde neutral color that will dye whateverwhichway you please, and, while distinctly curly, will straighten or curl more or whatever you want it to do.  I have the perfect hair for that messy-yet-fancy-looking up-do where you just shove bobby pins in there until it stops falling onto your shoulders.  Anyhow, when I do my hair, it tends to listen and behave, and that means I can sometimes do fancy things.

Being Fun - I tend to be pretty high energy in social situations, plus I have no shame, and I'm willing to try new stuff.
I actually started with the whole bouncy hyperactivity thing because I was so incredibly socially anxious and I was attempting a fake it till you make it approach.  But now that tends to just be how I behave, which, in many settings, is fun, although I worry a lot about it being obnoxious. 

Being Funny - I think this is mostly my willingness (see: lack of shame, above) to tell embarrassing stories about myself.

That's all I can think of.
--
I would like you to tell me what compliments you receive, because I'm interested, and I probably agree.

07 January 2010

As a human being, I FAIL

I set my alarm for 5:25 on weekdays, with the idea that I’ll work out and then shower and then make lunches and then wake up Gabey and then give him breakfast and THEN leave the house.
In reality, most mornings, my alarm goes off, I reset it for 5:55, then I spend half the time moving.like.molasses. Then a very quick half hour jumping into my clothes, throwing something into Gabriel’s lunchbox, wrassling him out of bed and fighting him into his jacket and shoes, and running to the bus stop, where, once on board, I hand him a banana or a cereal bar or some other sort of Breakfast To Go.

So.
Yesterday morning.
My alarm goes off at 5:25.
No.Fucking.Way.
I reset it to 5:55.
It goes off, I get up. I brush my teeth, wash my face, put my hair up, get dressed, eat breakfast, start to put on coffee when I glance up at the kitchen clock.
12:10.
Huh.
That’s weird.
I pull out my cell phone.
12:10.
I check my iPod.
12:10.
What the fuck did I do to my alarm clock when I was setting it last night?
I go into my bedroom, look at my alarm clock.
12:10.
WHAT.THE.FUCK.

Am I the craziest person on Planet Earth??
I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK
Officially, I am losing it.
 --
Story clarified in the comments

06 January 2010

05 January 2010

So far....none too bad

So far 2010 hasn't sucked.

I admit that only five days into it, I might be a little quick to judge, but I'm choosing optimism!

2009 was full of too much worry and death and loss and struggle and sadness.
It was not a year without value; I made many, many new and wonderful friendships and connections, I stabilized many aspects of my life, I reoriented myself. But there was a lot of hurt. A disproportionate amount of time spent in tears, especially for someone who never, ever cries.
Did you know that I never-ever cry?
Well....not usually anyways.

My first day of 2010 I woke up at my parents' house.  I'd stayed the night, kicking Daniel out of his room (that was first and mostly my sister's for close to 18 years, then Duncan's, then briefly mine, then Duncan's again, so that no one really thinks of it as Daniel's room and we all kick him out without batting an eye). 
I woke up in the house that I grew up in, sleeping beside the son whom I'm hoping grows up half so well. 
I had coffee and cookies for breakfast, so it only seemed fair to let Gabriel have cake.  We poked around by the fire and later Laura and I went walking and it was that sort of day where it's both grey and clear all at once, in a lovely, clean-smelling way.
I took Gabriel back home to meet his dad for the weekend, and, once he was gone, I spent the bulk of it cleaning and errand running; puttering my house shoeless and braless, sipping on either coffee or wine, depending on the hour. 
I went grocery shopping, I packed away the Christmas clutter, I organized, I slept and slept and slept, I spent some time with friends, and then on Sunday I drove to Sacramento to get my sweet boy back, none the worse for wear.
Yesterday was my first day back at work, all that time off simply showing clearly all that I'm missing at home.  I wasn't quite ready. 
But work is goodish, or fine, or whatever. 
And today it wasn't quite so painful to peel myself out of bed before dawn. 
And today Gabriel was slightly less reticent to waking. 
And here we are.
Our first week of 2010.
And I think we're going to be fine.
Everything's going to be fine.