Although it wasn't announced, maybe could go forever without anyone knowing, I'm going to tell you something about this space.
I started missdisgrace.com three weeks after I moved out of the apartment I shared with Gabriel's dad.
It's one of the first things I set up in my new life.
I'd had a blog prior to this, but most of my thoughts and feelings swirled around and washed over and wended through my deep unhappiness and unfathomable dissatisfaction with my life, my choices, my situation, and how those things had led me to utter dependence on someone entirely undependable and unfaithful and dishonest.
What did this boil down to?
K.Dot didn't like my writing.
At one point, in a last ditch effort to give it all one more chance (one of many THIS IS IT efforts) , I deleted all of my online writing.
I regret that.
I've lost all my writing from when I lived in Santa Barbara, from my pregnancy, from Gabriel's infancy.
Without those words?
My memories can shift and fade with my moods.
I want those posts back.
I wish someone could give them to me.
Unfortunately, it's just not meant to be.
And here we are.
If you read here, I'd like to thank you.
You've seen me through welfare and food stamps, through moves across town and across the state, through parenting trials great and small, through different jobs, through different friendships, through different boys.
I've made incredible connections through this space; I've gotten to know the most beautiful people.
I've developed my skills as a writer and a photographer.
I've worked through what I'm doing with my life.
Thanks for sticking with me guys.
Y'all are the best.