23 June 2010

Break Ups, A Rant

I have a little rant that's been ranting around my head and out my mouth for at least a couple months and I think my friends are tired of hearing it.
I'm writing it down, meaning that I'm not allowed to bitch about this anymore.
--
So!
When relationships end?
That sucks.
Totally, ridiculously sucks.
Giant sweaty donkey balls.
Especially if you are not the one to end things.

As the dumped person, it completely, honestly, 100% SUCKS.
And I'm sorry.
And I'm here for you, and let's go out to dinner, and talk on the phone, and do some retail therapy, and talk some more, and I'm available for hugs.
Let's split a bottle of wine and bitch about relationships.
Because it sucks.
And I'm sorry.
It's sad, it's disappointing, you feel like an idiot because you didn't see this coming, you feel like OH MY GOD HOW DID I MISREAD THIS ALL SO BADLY AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME AND OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITH MY CATS.
It sucks and I'm sorry.
I'm not the Feelings Police.
You're allowed to be sad.
I've been sad, I get it.
Honest.

BUT!
HERE'S THE THING!
If you EVER don't want to be with me?
FUCKING CHRIST BREAK UP WITH ME YESTERDAY.
I never, and I mean NEVER want to be in a relationship where the other person doesn't want to be there with me.  Being with someone who doesn't love me would be so, so much worse than having that person break up with me, no matter how feeling-hurty it is when it's happening.
AT LEAST HE BROKE UP WITH YOU.
Even when I'm SAD because it's SAD, I'm still thinking WELL BETTER TO BREAK UP NOW THAN TO LIE TO ME AND DRAG THIS SHIT OUT. 
Breaking up with me doesn't make you a bad person.
Just like me breaking up with you doesn't make me a bad person.
We're all just people and most of us aren't bad and it's okay to want to move on, even if that hurts someone's feelings.  Even if it hurts my feelings.  Or my friend's feelings.
Even if wanting to move on from the most awesome person I've ever met in my life makes you the biggest fucking idiot in the entire world.
Because when you're done, you're done.
And better that than the alternative.

I hate it, HATE IT, HATE IT when I see guys (or girls) villified for breaking up with their significant others.  Yes, even when the dumped person is my friend, and even when they're very, very sad.
Even though it sucks and I'm sorry.   
Wanting out doesn't make you bad.
You're just a person.
We're all just people.
And breaking up with your girlfriend doesn't make you an asshole.
Even if it sucks.
And even if you're sorry.