This is a picture, from PRETTYFUCKINGCLOSETODMYDUEDATE 2006, that I look at sometimes when I'm trying to remember why my tummy will never look the same.
When Gabriel was a baby he used to keep his feet resting against his calves all broken looking and WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT KID DOESN'T THAT HURT?? I tried to take a picture, but didn't really capture the full effect.
Here's Gabriel eating some avocado with chopsticks. He's badass. For anyone who doubts my child's inability to grow, he wore that jacket to school today, and it still fits pretty much the same as it did two years ago.
This was my firstly ever passport. My parents, in an apparent fit of insanity, took their three children aged five and under on a 3-week trip to Ireland and Scotland. I remember a castle with a lot of dead birds, and that Laura wouldn't let me have the bed by the window, and the lady's house with the teeter-totter, and....I think that's about it. Oh and Kipper Snacks.
This is a xerox of my secondly ever passport. The original is lost....somewhere. And it expired on my 26th birthday. It took me to Europe, Africa and South America. It's totally just as awful a picture in real life as it is in the xeroxed copy. I look like a terrorist with a lazy eye. I keep intending to go through the process of getting a new one but I need a copy of my birth certificate and I need to fill out some form about losing my old passport and I don't wanna.