04 February 2010
GTT - Scared Something Fierce
This week over at Girl Talk Thursday, the topic is things that you are too scared to do, only probably worded fancypants.
-Trying and failing.
You can't lose if you don't play, and I only play to win.
I 'compete' (and I include under the competition umbrella taking classes wherein it might be possible that the highest test score is not my own), but only when I know I'll win. If there's a chance of failure I brush the entire event aside, don't participate at all, or, if I do, make sure EVERYBODY KNOWS that I'm not emotionally invested in the outcome.
I am absolutely terrified of admitting my most secret thoughts/desires/feelings and having them slammed back in my face. Likewise applying for a longshot job, or school, or whatever.
Basically I'm afraid of losing.
That ends up meaning that I lose by default.
As far as traditional THINGS TO BE SCARED OF, I'm not afraid of heights or flying or spiders or what have you. I can be talked into most adventures, however ill-advised.
I don't have any desire to skydive or bungee jump, but not because I'm too afraid, just because I think it's fucking stupid.
I am not so lacking in thrills, or bored, or in need of some pep or whatever that I need to jump out of an airplane or off of a cliff, just to spice things up. Fuck.That. I'll be over here getting my rocks off by having mind-bowing sex or trying crazy new food or something.