I set my alarm for 5:25 on weekdays, with the idea that I’ll work out and then shower and then make lunches and then wake up Gabey and then give him breakfast and THEN leave the house.
In reality, most mornings, my alarm goes off, I reset it for 5:55, then I spend half the time moving.like.molasses. Then a very quick half hour jumping into my clothes, throwing something into Gabriel’s lunchbox, wrassling him out of bed and fighting him into his jacket and shoes, and running to the bus stop, where, once on board, I hand him a banana or a cereal bar or some other sort of Breakfast To Go.
My alarm goes off at 5:25.
I reset it to 5:55.
It goes off, I get up. I brush my teeth, wash my face, put my hair up, get dressed, eat breakfast, start to put on coffee when I glance up at the kitchen clock.
I pull out my cell phone.
I check my iPod.
What the fuck did I do to my alarm clock when I was setting it last night?
I go into my bedroom, look at my alarm clock.
Am I the craziest person on Planet Earth??
I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK
Officially, I am losing it.
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