29 January 2010

At the end of this, there's a prize!

Edit: The correct answer does appear in the comments. I'm going to announce who won at some point today, and start putting a Miss Grace Care Package together thusly.

(click to embiggen)

The person not related to my by blood or marriage to accurately guess wtf my sister and I are talking about gets a care package prize!  If there are more than one of you I will come up with a clever way to select, such as random.org, or maybe I'll choose with glitter!  Tell your friends!

Parental Failure

My son turned four.
We did stuff!
Fun stuff!
We went swimming in the rain.
We had cake.
Extra playtime.
Lots of prezzies.
Guess who only took one picture of her kid?  Go on, guess!
At least he's smiling?

28 January 2010

GTT - Beauty Secrets

I don't know if any of what follows are 'secrets' exactly, but, y'know, here's some stuff I do.

-I use my flat iron to fix my clothing hems when I'm too lazy to iron.
-I try only to buy clothes that flatter my figure, even if they're not the clothes that are currently en vogue.
-I use a foundation primer.
-I use sunscreen religiously.  I used to work for a plastic surgeon. I HAVE SEEN THE DAMAGE OF THE RAYS OF THE SUN (also? I'm white).  I put the extra face sunscreen on the backs of my hands because your hands are exposed to the sun more than any other part of your body and there's no such thing as cosmetic hand surgery. And hands age very badly with ropey veins and sun spots and leatheriness.
-I drink an absurd amount of water.
-I try to get enough sleep.
-I try to distract from my squishiness with my boobs.
-I brush my teeth a lot.
-I exfoliate.
-I don't wash my hair every day because if I wash it too often it starts to get all simultaneously oily plus dry = bizarro unattractive.
-I buy expensive makeup
-I only date people who think I'm hot.

That's all I got. What about you?

27 January 2010

Gabriel's Birthday - What did I buy?

Okay this post is going to be kinda long and seem MUCHLY FULL OF THINGS, because for thing one, I buy presents for Gabriel year-round and save 'em up for birthday/Christmas, and thing two, I got him a crap ton of clothes and stuff he needs.

Also I bought a lot of this stuff locally and support my struggling California economy, but I'm listing the Amazon stuff because hi! Pictures! And links!

(I got these from a local store because they were on sale for $10. And because they're awesome)

($25.90 on Amazon. I got mine locally for $29 plus tax)
Bought these because Gabriel has no rainboots, and needs some, and these were the only pair in his size.

LEGO Castle Building Set, $9.93 at Amazon.

LEGO Ultimate Building Set, $24.88 from Amazon

Skip Hop Zoo Pack (Penguin), $20 from Amazon

Melissa & Doug Deluxe Wooden Magnetic Pattern Blocks Set, $16.44 at Amazon, I bought locally, for $15ish (store was having sale)

Melissa & Doug Joey Magnetic Dress-Up, $11.04 at Amazon (I bought locally, similar price)

'LeapFrog Leapster Learning Game: Star Wars Jedi Reading, $22.70 from Amazon
Windbreaker Jacket, $25 from the GAP

I also bought him a wooden sword and shield, a couple Papo knights (from local toy store), a couple long sleeved shirts, and a pack of underwear.

Diptych - Play

I do my diptychs in collaboration with Kellee.
Explanation here.
If you are working on your own, feel free to add to the Mr. Linky.
Next week Kellee and I are working with 'fresh' as our theme, or you can choose your own.

26 January 2010


Today you are four. 

You are good at so many things.
You are so many good things.
You are strong and brave and sweet.
You are full of sunshine.
You are four.
You are so big.
You are still so small.
The person you are has made me the person I am.
I love you to pieces.
I love everything about you.
Today, you are four.
Let's have the very best day.

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

(Pictures may not appear in reader)

25 January 2010

Let's talk Point & Shoot!

Okay. So back in June, I got myself the Canon Rebel XS.  It's mystical and full of amazing, and probably made of puppy eyelashes and rainbows or something. It is liquid magnificence spun with gold and orgasms.
It filters everything through it's Lens of Magic, via which I am able to convince all of you poor souls that Gabriel and I are fabulously good looking.  Because it's just that awesome.  It makes people better looking. 


Moving on.

My great big camera of MAGIC-MAKING is not allowed to go out to bars with me, because, obviously.  So I've had my Canon Powershot that my mom gave me for my 25th birthday. And for two years it has been filling my world with love and joy and ease-of-transport.  And then. AND THEN. On Saturday I broke it. As in really, definitely, user-error, FUCKED UP, broken forever, broke it.  At one point I looked at it and the lens was all crookedly shoved and manhandled back into the camera. BROKEN.

I'm in the market for a new point and shoot.
I am in love with Canon ownership.
Can someone explain to me the difference (aside from price) between the following cameras which have come under consideration?

Canon PowerShot SD1200IS 10 MP Digital Camera with 3x Optical Image Stabilized Zoom and 2.5-inch LCD

Canon PowerShot SD970IS 12.1 MP Digital Camera with 5x Optical Zoom and 3.0-inch LCD

Canon PowerShot SD940IS 12.1MP Digital Camera with 4x Wide Angle Optical Image Stabilized Zoom and 2.7-inch LCD

Canon PowerShot SD960IS 12.1 MP Digital Camera with 4x Wide Angle Optical Image Stabilized Zoom and 2.8-inch LCD

Canon PowerShot SD780IS 12.1 MP Digital Camera with 3x Optical Image Stabilized Zoom and 2.5-inch LCD

Main priorities, from my perspective: smallness (must fit in small purse or coat pocket), ease of use, quality of pictures.
If you have any experience with any of these, I'd like to hear, and if you have any opinions about cameras-not-these, I'd like to hear that too.  My main reason for focusing so strongly on Canons in general and specifically on PowerShots is that I've been very happy with this choice in the past.  But I'm not unswayable.
Please to advise?

Pictures from the Wedding



(She's imitating my champagne-related rage)

Bathroom Coutoure
(Bizarre piece of antique furniture in the bathroom)

(There were only 4 of us at the table. All of those drinks are ours)

My sister is a zombie trying to EAT ME
(My sister playing the part of creeper)

She won the centerpiece.  W00T




All pictures are here

23 January 2010


Today, in 1975, Gabriel's father was born.
Today, in 1978, my parents got married.
Today, in various years, various friends of mine and friends of friends were born (according to facebook, there are five of you! Hi guys!  Hope today is super!)
And today, today, my friend Jenny is getting married. 

I'm in L.A., to watch it happen.

22 January 2010


Did you know that BlogHer is turn five??

My favorite photos taken (by me) at a BlogHer event.  They're all from BlogHer09, cuz I was sucktastic at taking pics at BlogHer08

Mr. Lady is even hotter in person

I'm mythical



What love looks like

21 January 2010

GTT - Feeling Peevish

A list of things that make me shoot hate rays out of my eyeholes, presented in no particular order

- Being touched without permission.  This is a weird one because I am actually a touchy-feely cuddle whore. BUT ONLY WHEN I DESIGNATE THAT RELATIONSHIP.  Strangers, or even known parties with whom Touch Boundary Crossing has not been cleared? Squicks me right the fuck out and makes me go all shrinkydink inside of myself BACK AWAY DO NOT WANT WHERE IS MY INVISIBILITY CLOAK RUN AWAY RUN AWAY.
(A couple people have asked me if my tattoo makes douchefuckers touch my back more, and while they NOW touch my back under the guise of tattoo inspection, they are the very same who found other excuses before)

-Related to above, sorta, people touching my face. Do not like or want. Exception: If we are currently making out/doin' it. Obvs.

-People who engage in weird personal hygiene in public.  Read: toenail clipping, flossing, etc.

-Going out to eat with friends, splitting the bill, and discovering that someone is a shitty tipper.  And then having to pay more than you ought to make sure waitress still gets a decent tip.

-Loud cell phone talkers. On public transport especially, although really anywhere.

-The following outfit, which seems especially popular amongst the 19-22 year-old hoochie college student crowd:  Ugg boots, mini-skirt/booty shorts, teensy shirt, scarf.  If your feet and your neck are that cold? WEAR A FUCKING SWEATER.

-When people end relationships (friend or romantic) by NEVER CALLING AGAIN OR RESPONDING TO YOU.  There's mutual drift-out-of-touch stuff, and that's fine, but intentional non-response as a means of moving on?  Seriously bugs me.  I try never to do it.

-Creepy fuckers on the internet.  And if you are wondering, "Could she possibly be talking about me?" Then the answer is probably yes, because if there's ANY reason AT ALL that you're asking that question?  Then you know in your soul that you're a creepo and seriously? Cut that shit out.  I know I have a website about boobs and I also know that I'm single and I also know that I have a vajay but seriously?  No. The answer is no.
(For further information on this subject, please see Holly's post)

Daniel, 13


Of the five of us, it's definitely you who's the funniest.  Seriously, you crack my shit up.  You've been spot-on, grown-up funny since you were about five years old.
These days you know you're funny, and you've been perfecting your routines. Impressions of your math teacher. Your rants about ketchup packets.

Daniel James

You're the youngest but you're already almost taller than me, a state your older brothers didn't reach for another couple years.  I keep telling James that he should stop beating on you because you're going to be bigger than him, and you're freakishly strong in the same way that I am but James is not. So he needs to cut that shit out before he gets his ass kicked.


I have no idea what to buy you for your birthday.  As far as I can tell you like:

-Weird, flamboyant high top shoes
-Flat brimmed hats
-Video games
-Various remote-controlled devices
-MAYBE your skateboard and your bike, but I'm unsure
-Your iPod

The shoes and hats are out, cuz you have to pick those out yourself.  The only video games I play are those old school gameboy ones that you need the gameboy advance for cuz they don't work on the DS.  I can't care about remote controlled anythingatall.  I'd get you iTunes gift cards but since I just got a bunch for Christmas, there would be no way to prove that it's not a regift.

Daniel & Neighbor


You're 13.

Happy birthday.


20 January 2010

Diptych - Water

I do my diptychs in collaboration with Kellee.
Explanation here.
If you are working on your own, feel free to add to the Mr. Linky.
Next week Kellee and I are working with 'play' as our theme, or you can choose your own.

19 January 2010


Twitter does NOT take me seriously.  Here are some tweets I sent out earlier today (start at the bottom and read up, click to embiggen):

(Ignore the scribbly ones, they're not related)
Anyhow, I sent out the first several, and got no response, so I drew a picture (which garnered the appropriate level of WTF where is your kid for which I was searching).
(Again, click to biggify)

Gabey's fine, he's with my parents.  But he's TRAPPED! IN THE MOUNTAINS!
And I'mma miss seeing him tonight.

18 January 2010

I've been feeling all angsty and teenaged lately.  For no discernible reason.  I'm still quite pleased with 2010 and all the ways that it hasn't sucked balls, but I've also spent the whole of it to date with a pit-of-my-stomach anxiety that I'm not really used to.

I suppose if I get myself to psychoanalyzing it's probably my overarching sense of IMPENDING DOOM, hanging around because nothing's happened to piss me off or make me cry for awhile now, and my body is trying to brace me for what it's pretty sure is coming.
Meanwhile my brain is trying uselessly to reassure and be all 'Check it yo, we're cool.' 

Anyhow, sometimes I get all Crazy Anxious and I've been that way of late, and it's weird.  Cuz previous times I've felt this way include:
-As an insecure preteen/teenager
-Immediately after doing FILL IN THE BLANK stupid and socially inadvisable Thing in college
-When trying to deny to myself that live in boyfriend was Lying Cheater McCheaterston
-When mothering an infant that cried inconsolably for at least 6 hours a day for the first 6 months of his life
-When on welfare and terrified of my life falling down all around my ears

So you can see, previous UNEXPLAINABLE ANGST has in fact been extraordinarily explainable.  But I don't have a good reason for this, in my brain or in my gut or anything else. 

And I still feel all fluttery and hovery and lacking in purpose and OH MY GOD WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN IS IT SOMETHING BAD I BET IT IS.  It's slightly manic, not in a good way, and I need my sleep.
Is the world about to end? No? Then cut it out, nervous system.  I don't need this shit.

Save to Draft

The entire (albeit often nonsensical) text of some posts I currently have saved to draft.  Editorial notes have been added in italics:
(Related, my great-aunt's answering machine was the only place her voice was ever recorded. When she got throat cancer, it was the only place anyone would hear her voice.  After she passed away, you could still listen to her on the machine)

I have no idea what this is related to, or why it's parenthetical.  
Things my parents do not own:
High speed internet

Things my parents DO own:
Clothes line

This looks like a pretty damn important list!
So. I walk at lunch (Often with Kat, but sometimes I ditch her for the hour of alone time and I think hope she loves me anyhow). I started out walking 1 1/2 miles in 45ish minutes.  Now I can do 2 in 35, so sometimes I add another lap (1/2 mile track) and make it 2 1/2, if I'm not too hot. And still have my 10 minutes to spare for dicking around.
I'm not going to do any kind of lunch break exercise that involves breaking a sweat, because I'm not willing to incorporate the whole change/shower/change aspect. And I don't really like to sweat unless there's a post-perspire shower option.

If I had to guess, and apparently I do, this was going to be a post about my exercise routine.
I've been working on this sort of.....long term tidiness goal where in addition to MINIMAL MAINTENANCE TO AVOID LIVING IN FILTH, each weekend I try to tackle one thing extra.  Last weekend I got a pass because I was trying not to die.
But the weekend before that! I did my oven.
And before that! I scrubbed all that grossness from my bathtub grout and reorganized under the sink.
So this weekend I decided to readdress the problem of my desk.

buahahahaha I have no idea when this was written, but I can tell you for CERTAIN that my desk has not been addressed or readdressed or anything else. I AM SLOVENLY.

15 January 2010

Say Something Nice - K.Dot

I'm tired of complaining about Gabriel's dad. Here are some things that I like about him:

*He adores Gabriel.
*Gabriel adores him.
*He usually has a job.
*He's intelligent.
*He's musically and artistically talented.
*He's athletic.
*He's a good driver.
*He does spot on impressions.
*He has a nice voice.
*He doesn't have any health problems.
*I'm pretty sure he doesn't talk about me in front of Gabriel.
*His girlfriends are always quite likable.

Okay. That's it I think.  Let's all think of nice things to say about people?

14 January 2010

GTT - Your Favorite Body Part

I'm a girl, so it goes without say that I can pick apart and complain about most parts of my body.  Especially since I'm a mom and I REMEMBER what my body was like before.  Ah, the elusive before.

Anyways, Girl Talk Thursday this week is about joining The Mominatrix in celebrating your favorite body part. So here I am, NOT complaining.

I think I have a nice back.  That's why I decided to get it tattooed.  Cuz I like it.


Edited because apparently it's Decreeper Day or something? I always miss this stuff. Anyhow, yeah, leave a comment today cuz it's Unlurking Festivus.  I think.

13 January 2010

Diptych - Paper

Diptych Paper

I do my diptychs in collaboration with Kellee. Explanation here. If you are working on your own, feel free to add to the Mr. Linky.
Next week Kellee and I are doing water, or you can choose your own theme.