31 December 2009

Resolved: 2010

Body
-WEIGHTLOSSWEIGHTLOSSBLAHBLAHBLAH
It feels so cliché to make resolutions about my weight year after year. I mean...How much more Typical American Female can I get?
But! Butt!
For realsies I actually have been working on working out and trying to lose weight the past couple of months, with moderate success (6lbs! Heya!), so this is more of a carry-through than a new resolution. 
And. Yes. I need to lose some weight, with specifics as follows:
  • Keep up my little lunchtime walking brouhaha.
  • Shred at least three times a week, with goal of five.
  • No more buying carby snacks at work.
  • Limit drinking to weekends.
  • WATERWATERWATER

Finances
-Debt, I WILL DESTROY YOU 
Maybe not possible in a single year's time, but I can definitely continue on my current course of reduction, including a large chunk of payoff come Tax Return Time, and it's looking like I can continue to make progress in this regard.

-Spending, I WILL CONTROL YOU
Stop buying shit I don't need.  Including bizarre impulse buys.  And clothes.  Unless my chonies spontaneously combust, I'm good on clothes.
I'm still allowed to buy thrifted, receive gifted, and repurpose/resew.

-Savings, YOU WILL EXIST
I'm bumping my voluntary retirement contribution, and increasing the amount of money that automatically gets sucked into my ING account.


Family/Friends
-Be a nicer person
I'm a yeller, I have a sharp temper, I speak before I think.  I need to work on giving myself a time out and counting to 20 before I say anything spiteful or hurtful.

-Don't flake
I'm notoriously THE WORST at calling/calling back/etc.  I like my friends.  I need to stop blowing them off.

World
-Cut my plastic use

-Be more aware of the packaging I'm purchasing

-Make good choices about cleaning products I use

29 December 2009

GOOD VAMPIRE FLUFF



My sister got me Sunshine by Robin McKinley for Christmas.   If you're looking for a vampires-meet-humans fluffy book that is, despite that, well-written, NOT an abstinence parable, and (bonus!) not a whole bunch of creepy lessons on how to let your boyfriend control you until you wind up barefoot and pregnant at 18 years old, let me recommend this.

(And whether or not you've read the Twilight books, let me recommend this piece of Twilight teardown hilarity)

I stayed up all night reading it, which is saying a lot because I'll choose sleep over almost everything.
It's funny, there's an appropriate level of romance, it's realistic insofar as a vampire book can be considered as such.  You should read it.

Also, Robin McKinley, was like, my FAVORITE author when I was ages 12 through 17ish, and continues to hold a special place in my heart all these 15 years later.  Beauty is also most excellent, and remains a favorite comfort book.
--
Disclaimer: My sister gave me this book for Christmas, and she did not pay me to review it, cuz that's just not how we roll in my family.

27 December 2009

Emerald Bowl

Pictures might not show up in reader, but let me assure you that they are AWESOMELY worth the click through.

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

26 December 2009

Weekly Winners - Christmas Time

Weekly Winners

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Christmas 2009

Christmas 2009

Happy Christmas Hangover Day!

Yesterday was filled with merriment and family and joy and such.
For realsies, it was fun.
I finally woke Gabriel up at 730 when I couldn't stand it anymore because HELLO, it's Christmas how can you be asleep
"Do you think Santa came?"
"Let's go find out."
He spent about 4 1/2 hours meticulously opening his gifts from me, and playing with/wearing/eating each one before he opened the next.
Then we went up to my parents' house for proper festivities, which were made extra Christmas-y by the 3-year-olds (Gabriel, Elliot, Camille) getting into my car, and then locking the keys in my car, necessitating a call to AAA.
Plus we found out that a kid in Simon's first grade class is actually our cousin (extra weird because he's the one kid we talk about all the time, and we all have a very firm grasp on who our cousins are).
Aside from the car locking nightmare, the children were all surprisingly not-too-bratty considering both the sugar and the overwrought nature of children on Christmas.

Christmas 2009
Christmas 2009
Christmas 2009
Christmas 2009
Christmas 2009

24 December 2009

brown paper packages tied up with string

Brown Paper Packages

Brown Paper Packages

Brown Paper Packages

Brown Paper Packages

Brown Paper Packages

Why yes, yes I used my grocery bags for wrapping paper.
And indeed, that's a table cloth I'm using as a tree skirt.
What of it?

Merry Christmas everyone.  I love you.  Yes, you.

And you.

23 December 2009

Everyone should have a Holly

I got a package from Holly in the mail last Friday. It could not be better.

Package from Holly (@whymomdrinksrum)
From CANNADUH yo!  And look how pretty!

Package from Holly (@whymomdrinksrum)

Package from Holly (@whymomdrinksrum)
CUPCAKES! I both want and need, regularly.

Package from Holly (@whymomdrinksrum)
This as-seen-on-tv thingie for you bra is actually super awesome for Teh Cleavage.  Recommend.

Package from Holly (@whymomdrinksrum)

Package from Holly (@whymomdrinksrum)
Consumed within moments of this picture. Coffee one is especially delish.

Package from Holly (@whymomdrinksrum)

Package from Holly (@whymomdrinksrum)
! Look at the little cupcake on the inside!

Package from Holly (@whymomdrinksrum)
Assuming this one is for me and....

Package from Holly (@whymomdrinksrum)
....this one is for Gabey.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

Diptych - Green


22 December 2009

We Wish You A Merry Christmas



And then he hands me his shoes....
(Yeah, that's REALLY what my laugh sounds like; mock me if you wish)

17 December 2009

Jingle Bells



I meant to send this in to Neil's holiday concert. But I forgot. Cuz I suck.

16 December 2009

Diptych - Light

I'm basically just thieving Kellee's explanation of this project, since it was born of her genius. I'm just the lucky girl that got picked to come along for the ride!
So.  Kellee has been casting about for a creative, different photography project that might serve as inspiration to stretch those photography muscles.  She decided on a collaborative effort in the form of creating diptychs with a partner (I'll pause here if you need to google diptych -- I did).

Kellee's words:
While diptychs are common in art of all forms, in photography it is when two photographs are presented in juxtaposition. These photographs are typically by the same photographer, and generally related in some way – such as showing a flower from two different angles, or a picture of coffee beans next to a mug of steaming coffee.
I thought it might be interesting to come up with a different kind of diptych, one linked through abstract concept only. Why not have two photographers each come up with a photograph while using a single word their guide, then display the results together as a diptych created from the two images.
That sounded like an incredible study on inspiration and the different ways in which we each view the world.
Anyhow, I'm quite pleased with the fact that Kellee asked me to do this with her.  We have a list of concept words for our project, starting this week with Light.


15 December 2009

The Lunch Box

Sixth grade.
School makes me nervous.
I dread lunch.
In fifth grade I got along and I belonged, or at least, I thought so.
I thought I got along.
I thought I belonged.
In sixth grade, my two best friends have gone to different schools, and I find myself by myself, surrounded by the same sixty children I've known and played with since kindergarten.
Suddenly I hate them all, and know no one.
I've warped from the reasonable side of social acceptance into the nervous bystander on the constant brink of children's taunts, all in the stretch of a single summer break.
Looking back there is no way of knowing if my lunchtime anxiety was a product of preteen hormones, a dramatic play into everything is exactly the same and completely different, or if everything really was completely different.
--
I hate everyone but I just want everyone to like me. Lunchtime, our longest break of the day, the greatest opportunity to socialize, becomes my greatest fear, the absolute focus of my anxiety.
I feel nervous.
I feel fat.
I feel awkward.
I feel unwanted.
I stop eating lunch.
I spend an elaborate amount of time orchestrating my classroom exit, always the last to leave.
I drift through the multipurpose room, old enough that the teachers don't pay any mind to whether or not I eat.
I stack minutes upon minutes going to the bathroom. I wash my hands carefully and slowly before and after, punching the button for the water exactly five times, counting to five in my head between each push. Hand dryer five times. Count to five before I hit it again. The careful ritual, which happens regardless of my need to use the restroom, takes me almost to the end of the period.
Water fountain, carefully. Five drinks. Count to five between each.
The first person to line up outside the classroom, my lunches fly neatly past, one after the other - ticking down the days until I could get out of that school.

Saturday in Vegas, would you like to know it?

-At roughly 11am, I jolted awake and demanded to know the time. Then I groaned. Audibly.
What time did we go to bed?
You passed out at 6, after declaring that we were all assholes.
Oh. Huh.
I think I drank my weight in vodka yesterday.
Probably.
-Stumbled into clothes.
-Found my phone, possessed by Satan.  It flashes the word "gravity" on and off.  And that is all it does.  Eventually I decided that 'gravity' is probably the name of the phone model. otherwise I have NO EARTHLY IDEA.
-Food Court! Again!
-INSERT TIME LAPSE (Did we nap again??) Julia keeps offering me her blackberry to make contact with ANY OF THE OTHER PEOPLE IN VEGAS. I use it to tweet nonsense and make no contact whatsoever.
-Went as group to eat, and then did minor sight seeing.  Tammi, Greg and a Aman went off to see Blue Man Group.
-LET ME TELL YOU OF ZOMBIES
So. At this point I finally FINALLY start to wake up. (it's 9pm? Later? Earlier?) Anyhow, brain starts functioning, somewhat, and I realize that I can probably buy a pay as you go phone from Walgreen's, which is handily staring at me.
This Walgreen's doesn't have T-Mobile prepaid phones, there is another one on the other end of the strip, they call, they have it, we take THE LONGEST AND MOST FRIGHTENING CAB IN THE HISTORY OF MAN.  Our geriatric cab driver shows us the ticket he got the night prior, because it is so long. Yes the physical length of the ticket.  He also chides us for our store choice. How about CVS? Wal-Mart sure is a great store.
Walgreen's II is significantly creepier than Walgreen's I.  Waiting for someone to get a phone for me, I inadvertently make eye contact with the store security guard. WHO IS A ZOMBIE.  He has hollow eyes, a hunched lean, grey dead skin, and fingernails caked in grave dirt.  I lean over to Julia, "Look! A zombie!"
"OH MY GOD" (to Steve, whispering) "The security guard is-"
"A zombie? Yes. I saw."
We made Steve ask the zombie for scissors.
Later zombie sitings included:
In the elevator lobby of Planet Hollywood.
Walking down the strip by myself at 3am.
Standing, murmuring and groaning and staring hollowly, at the base of the escalator in the Las Vegas Airport.
Ground zero for Zombie Armageddon is, apparently, Las Vegas, NV. I guess The Bloggess was right.
-After I acquired PHONE! we went into the MGM to do some gambling, and I won $50ish at the nickel slots, which paid for PHONE!  Then we walked down to Planet Hollywood for #VegasBB, which was awesome and fun and BEWBS!
-After party got shut down, walked back to Palazzo by myself, asked a cop what side of the street I needed to be on.  A tall, manly cop.  He answered me in the voice of a woman.
-Found Julia and Steve eating fried food. Partook.

Some Weekend Pictures, for your viewing pleasure:

Karaoke
Some Karaoke and OH MAN were we ever into it.

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Drinks on plane so as not to die.

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The part of the trip where Aman gave me a wedgie and almost killed me.

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Me, Dying.  Aman, Smirking.

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JULIA!

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With Tammi and inexplicably purple.

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Aman and Steve having a moment.

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I think Julia wants to kill me and my camera. Kill me bad.

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I'm pretty sure we're dancing on a table in La Chez Queen of Spain

All photos here.

14 December 2009

Let me tell you about the LONGEST DAY OF MY LIFE

(Photos forthcoming)

-On Friday Julia and I woke up at 4:01am for our flight to Vegas, having gone to bed at 1am-ish after a rousing night of karaoke.
-We ordered our first drinks on the plane, so as not to DIE OF HANGOVER.  Our flight attendant was a royal bitch.  I may or may not have issued commentary on the tightness of her asshole.  It is at this point that Julia and I realize (again) that we hate EVERYONE.
-At the airport we collected Steve and Aman.
-Happily, we were able to check in at around 9ish.
-Drank in the room.
-Showered (<- INEXPLICABLE TIME LAPSE)
-Found Daphne, ate at FOOD COURT (we are classy)
-Wandered? (<- INSERT GIANT TIME GAP HERE)
-Made it somewhat halfway back to room in order to nap, instead found Steve and Aman at bar, drank.
-Napped.
-Drank/Dressed/Drank (<- TIME LAPSE)
-BIG FUCKING QUESTION MARK AS TO WHAT HAPPENED HERE
-Ate! At! The! Food! Court! Again!
-Uh................
-Aman's friends arrived on scene.  Happily, they were really cool.
-Perhaps there were slot machines?
-Drinking.
-Nightclub?  Yes I think nightclub.  Ordered vodka sodas that were in fact TALL GLASSES OF KETTLE ONE.  I had three.  At this point I start to remember SIGNIFICANTLY LESS.
-At 4am, Julia tells me, "Hey, we've been awake for 24 hours."  I respond with, "FUCK YOU."
-Eating, I drunkenly demand my food BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE.  Then I eat it and pass out. At the table.
-At 6am, in the room, I say, apropos of nothing, "ALL OF YOU ARE ASSHOLES" before falling face first onto the couch and passing out.

09 December 2009

Here and There and EVERYWHERE

Pipe Cleaner Christmas Creatures have not eaten my brain through my eye sockets while I sleep. Yet.  But!  They're on my 'dining room' (<---Term used loosely) table, and without fail, every morning since their birth, I've stumbled all bleary and confused into my kitchen only to be OVERCOME WITH A WAVE OF TERROR BECAUSE CREATURES ARE WATCHING ME.
Oh.
Sigh.
It's just Pimp Santa.
Moving on.
--
Single Parents! Maybe you aren't one, but do you know any? Really trying to put together a good and fun and useful group over at the Savvy Source.  Please to be joining me.
--
On Sunday Kat and her boyfriend Jesse came over for crafting and day-drinking.  Kat helped Gabriel make made Gabriel a stocking and a mustache.  For realsies.

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Even more awesome than you imagined, I bet! 
--
I've been using my slow cooker for my FAVORITE PURPOSE - the making of hot alcoholic beverages.  If you're doing cider, I highly recommend squeezing some orange juice in (I used some clementines that were about to jump ship).
Molly recommended butterscotch schnapps for a caramel apple effect.  That's next on the list of Things To Try.
--
VEGASVEGASVEGAS
I'll be in Vegas this weekend!
Find me!
Drink with me!
If I'm face down in a ditch, turn me over so I don't drown!

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