Don't mind me. I'm a goofy looking tree. Following the vague instructions made me look reasonably as pictured.
My candy cane is inexplicably large. And I have feet.
They say I'm a girl, but I don't know for sure. I do not have feet. Why does homeboy get feet?
I have a backbone! Jigga jigga what? I will kill you with my SPINAL COLUMN OF DOOM.
OH HAI I AM PINK AND FLUFFY FLUFFY FLUFF BALL THIS THING ON MAH BELLY IS A MUFF. Directions sez so.
For an elf I am curiously tall. Who gave me these Christmas Uggs? My tights are manly.
Santa Pimp Swagga G. Where my hos at? We be pimpin. BUT OH MAH JEEBUS WHAT IS THAT???
I WILL EAT YOUR BRAINZ
I KILL YOU DEAD
Um, guys? Do you know there's a boxing tree over here trying to kick my ass? Help a brotha out?
WE ARE GREATER THAN THE SUM OF OUR PARTS. WE WILL HURT YOU BAD IN THE HEAD. SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH.
Oh noes! Reindeer zombie creepo is humpin' on our Pink Lady.
Eep!
Confrontation is icky!
I cut you with MY SPINE!!
I KILL YOU DEAD
Santa: That's our reindeer you jerkoff!
Elf: Simmer down Santa. Simmer down. Don't make me hurt you.
You made me hurt you Santa. Me in ZOMBIEREINDEEROFDOOM hafta conquer the world now. No hard feelings?
