14 December 2009

Let me tell you about the LONGEST DAY OF MY LIFE

(Photos forthcoming)

-On Friday Julia and I woke up at 4:01am for our flight to Vegas, having gone to bed at 1am-ish after a rousing night of karaoke.
-We ordered our first drinks on the plane, so as not to DIE OF HANGOVER.  Our flight attendant was a royal bitch.  I may or may not have issued commentary on the tightness of her asshole.  It is at this point that Julia and I realize (again) that we hate EVERYONE.
-At the airport we collected Steve and Aman.
-Happily, we were able to check in at around 9ish.
-Drank in the room.
-Showered (<- INEXPLICABLE TIME LAPSE)
-Found Daphne, ate at FOOD COURT (we are classy)
-Wandered? (<- INSERT GIANT TIME GAP HERE)
-Made it somewhat halfway back to room in order to nap, instead found Steve and Aman at bar, drank.
-Napped.
-Drank/Dressed/Drank (<- TIME LAPSE)
-BIG FUCKING QUESTION MARK AS TO WHAT HAPPENED HERE
-Ate! At! The! Food! Court! Again!
-Uh................
-Aman's friends arrived on scene.  Happily, they were really cool.
-Perhaps there were slot machines?
-Drinking.
-Nightclub?  Yes I think nightclub.  Ordered vodka sodas that were in fact TALL GLASSES OF KETTLE ONE.  I had three.  At this point I start to remember SIGNIFICANTLY LESS.
-At 4am, Julia tells me, "Hey, we've been awake for 24 hours."  I respond with, "FUCK YOU."
-Eating, I drunkenly demand my food BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE.  Then I eat it and pass out. At the table.
-At 6am, in the room, I say, apropos of nothing, "ALL OF YOU ARE ASSHOLES" before falling face first onto the couch and passing out.