Option One: Tonight, at 7pm (PST, and whatever corresponding hour you're at if you're elsewhere), you tune into 2HT Radio to listen to me make an ass of myself talking to Karl Erikson. I'll try very hard not to nervous-giggle or slur my words or mumble, and I'll bribe Gabriel with an extra movie to keep him from interrupting the show with Toddler Laugh. You try very hard not to laugh at me, or at the very least, laugh at me with love.
Option Two: I cry. You are a bad person.
There is no Option Three.