05 November 2009

GTT - Job Venting

my job my job my job

I actually like my job. It's not particularly interesting, but neither is it painfully boring. I like my bosses and my bosses like me. None of my coworkers make me shoot hate rays out of my eyes. Well. Okay. Except for this one.

I have killer benefits, ample vacation and sick time, very little stress.

I'm an administrative assistant, which basically boils down to a lot of bill pay, excel, data base maintenance, ET CETERA. And yeah, that's not like, riveting work, but I don't hate it. It's not soul-sucking.

The only aspect of my job that makes me feel crummy about it/myself is the fact that I'm a glorified secretary earning a wage that lands me below the poverty line for a family of two.
And that makes me feel like a jerk because I have my MLIS (Library & Information Science), and I feel like I ought to have a REAL job already.

In 2006, when I finished grad school, I was barely 24 years old and Gabriel had not yet turned one. And I couldn't find a job.
I couldn't get hired in the positions for which I was qualified, because I was too young and inexperienced.
I couldn't get a job that you would expect someone my age to have, because I was overqualified.
Over and over and over again.

Too young.
Or overqualified.

I ended up on welfare.
Cash aid, food stamps, the whole bit.
Working for a temp agency.
Applying and applying and applying for jobs.

Too young.
Or overqualified.

Don't even get me started on the flaws with a system wherein someone who WANTS to work full time, who is CAPABLE of holding a full-time job, and is QUALIFIED for most, ends up on cash aid because she's just too darn educated.
Or too young.

Finally I just pulled grad school off of my résumé. I would have done it earlier, but I was concerned about explaining the one year gap in employment (I worked the first year I was getting my master's, until I was about 8 months pregnant). Finally one of my friends smacked me upside the head and pointed out that the two years I spent in grad school were the two years I spent pregnant and raising an infant, and staying home with your son for the first year of his life counts as a good explanation for an employment gap.

And then I got a job, doing admin. All I had to do was pretend to be less educated than I really am. Employed! I liked that job a lot until all of this weird company infighting and rearranging happened and then my bosses all got fired and demoted in favor of this brown-nosing idiot. Plus K.Dot moved to Sacramento or SOMETHING, and was suddenly not any part of parenting Gabriel at all and could only have him if they stayed at my apartment and I left and OH-MY-GOD-WHY-AM-I-IN-CHICO-AT-ALL. And then, well, I didn't like it anymore.

So I got my job here and I moved to SC and here I've been.

And here I am working at the front desk of a bookstore, which is fine because I like my job and all, but it's been three years since I got my master's degree, and I'm three years older, and I'm in the exact same place I was three years ago. And I guess big-picture three years isn't all that long, and I'm not exactly old, but I feel like the farther I get away from that graduation date without making any moves to work in that chosen field, the less and less likely I'll ever be qualified to do anything but what I'm doing right now.

So I don't know what to do.