26 October 2009

On Hawking Your Wares

I write this because you should care more about our friendship than about your pyramid scheme.
And an alarming percentage of my social circle has started spamming me.
--
So!
You have a business!
You have a product or service you would like to make available to the public!
Maybe you're running a fundraiser!
You want to get the word out!
You want everyone to buy/use your thing/skill/whatever!

I'm your friend or personal acquaintance, with whom you have no professional relationship of any kind.
So.
Your profession/skills/wares for sale?
It's a new thing?
Tell me about it!
Once.
Only tell me once.
I think that bears repetition: Tell me once.

From that point forward I will know that if I need X (wherein X is the product or service you are offering), I will come to you. I will happily patronize your business over the competition, because we are friends.

But please.

For the love of god.

Stop trying to sell me your shit.

I do not want to be a part of your direct sales empire.

Unsubscribe.

Please and thank you.
--
P.S. Don't ask me for money. Especially if we're not really friends, especially if you are more financially stable than I am, and ESPECIALLY don't ask me for money repeatedly.
Do it once and either I'll give you money, or not.
Do it ANY NUMBER MORE THAN ONCE? I hate you.