14 August 2009

The last month in searches

Occasionally, I look at my blog stats. Because I'm narcissistic curious. I'm sure other bloggers already know this, but it just fills you up with MORE QUESTIONS. What prompted you to google "don't drink and comment"? What comment did you leave? (Personally? I disagree).
And what about this poor soul: "i have flat feet" fetish - My feet actually have these insanely high arches/insteps, they're the antithesis of flat feet. But what is it, specifically, about flat feet that gets you all hot and bothered? And also? Sorry dude. I hope you find your p0rn.

What about the woman (I imagine this as a woman) who searches out "remembers how to sleep" When did you forget?

The person searching out ativan and morphine cocktail? Yes. Please. You can mail it.

boobs hug head - Seek medical attention.

double fisting instructions - Order two drinks. Hold one in each hand. Proceed accordingly.

Then there are the stories I want to hear: everything just went kinda fuzzy and cold... and minty... i don't remember much after that. I imagine someone sitting in front of their computer, typing blindly into the google box.

And fuck me i'm tired? God. Me too. We need a nap.

The person hunting for packing list for masters degree? Pack your sanity somewhere safe and away, so you can pull it back out when you're done.

Of course you can't get flagged as a p0rn site without talking an awful lot about boobs, which I am, and I do. So there's a big CHUNK of p0rny, inappropriate searches that are ending up here. I've made my peace with that. But I have to tell you, it makes me smile that someone searched for pictures of grown ups sucking other grown ups boobs, because I picture them hunting for dirty photos and coming up with breastfeeding pic after breastfeeding pic. #snort.

the bloggess pregnancy - Dude. Jenny? We're having twins, right? How come you never call or write? If you cut me out of our babies' lives? I'm gonna be pissed. You could at least send me a copy of the ultrasound. Or a picture of your boobs. Or both.

My very very favorite search from last month? wagina - Nuff said.


  1. I love seeing how people find me. It's normally some search related to boners.

  2. Are you sure that is the type of double fisting instructions they were looking for?

  3. I am with Badass, I thought of something COMPELTELY different than drinks with the fisting comment!
    And fuck me, I am tired. Are you sure nap was what they are looking for...or a pick me up fuck?
    Just sayin'! :-)

  4. how do you find out who looks for you? curious. xo amber

  5. I really wish you could link back to the searchers.

    I like to see the crazy.

  6. you are definitely flagged as porn!!

  7. Hmmm..... It seems there are quite a few "Virgos" out there.