Not Awesome At All

*I've been sick since Sunday night. Bizarrely, it started with a tummy ache, and turned into a chest cold? I think it must have been two unrelated illnesses, striking back to back, because I'm pretty sure those are relatively unrelated parts of my body. Anyways, not awesome.

*Gabriel I think has been sick for longer, but less so. I've been letting him sleep in in the mornings (that in in looks really weird, but I can't think of another way to write that - in sleep in? no), and go to bed earlier at night, and he seems to be having good days at school. Which is good, as I have no contingency plan. Anyways. Gabriel sick: Also not awesome.

*I have to work an extra 20 hours over the weekend. Which is not awesome at all.

*Word on the street is that we're going to have salary reductions after fiscal year close. Fuckers. I would so much rather be furloughed, getting paid the same amount for less time, then salary reduction, wherein I still have to work the same hours, just for less money. Fuckers. NOT. AWESOME. AT. ALL. Of course it's all speculation at this point, but when my boss is speculating TO ME, I take it pretty seriously.

*I know I've beaten this point to death, but I still.can't.find.my.camera. It's driving me nuts, because I didn't do anything WEIRD with it, or take it somewhere strange, or anything. The last time I know I had it was Wednesday, May 27th. I took it to Gabriel's first swim lesson. I got home, I took it out of our swim bag, I put it on the kitchen counter. I'm very certain of all of that.
I keep thinking of places where I could have lost it, like if I took it to the park and left it on a bench or something, but Gabriel was with his dad that weekend, so I didn't take him to the park, and I didn't go out that weekend, and I didn't have my camera besides, because that's when I first started bitching and moaning about it. VEXED. And? Not awesome. Not awesome at all.

*I've totally flaked and abandoned a bunch of writing I'm supposed to do, like the kind where I get "paid." And the more I avoid it, the more I have it hanging over my head. I haven't even thought up reliable excuses yet. Not. Awesome. At. All.

*An old classmate of mine lost her baby yesterday. It's so sad. I can't stop thinking about it. Because it's just so sad. There's nothing you can say, really. It's so heartbreakingly sad. We aren't close, but I just. It's adding an extra layer of sadness to everything I think about, because I can't imagine, but then I can't help but imagining, and there is no way to help with that kind of pain, and I just. It's so sad.