16 June 2009

I suck at mornings

It's 6:15 in the morning. I'm standing at my kitchen sink, drinking juice, waiting for the water to boil for my coffee. I'm gazing out the window, completely unfocused. Ticking things off in my head. Do I have time to make Gabriel lunch? Is the fog going to clear? Where are my glasses? Did I remember to fix the button on my gray slacks?

All of a sudden I'm making eye contact with some groundskeeper dude, about two feet away from my face. I jump about a foot in the air. He grins from ear to ear, and waves at me. Confused and bleary, I wave back.

He has totally stopped whatever he was ever doing. He's just....standing there...staring at me. Slightly bothered, I nod at him again, and leave the kitchen.

Then I realize I've been standing in front of the open window in my underwear.

Fuck.

22 comments:

  1. I think the groundskeeper would say that you're actually really great at mornings!

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  2. Man, some assholes have all the luck.

    I'll be there to prune your bush next week!

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  3. wait....we shouldn't do that?

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  4. It's like the Live Show version of Boob Emancipation!

    This is hilarious.

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  5. You were bothered, but I bet he was hot and bothered.

    I'm guessing the bushes where you live are getting extra special attention today.

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  6. I needed a laugh this morning, it's too early to be up, so thank you!

    Also, if I could walk around in my underwear all day I totally would. Damn neighbors.

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  7. I routinely flashed the construction workers on the building across from my dorm freshman year. It's hard to wake up and think "ok, there are probably men outside your window. Put clothing on" On the plus side, you probably made his day.

    Oh and one time Jehovah's witnesses came to my door. I wasn't wearing pants. Awkward.

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  8. obviously he didn't mind - he probably thinks you are very good at mornings. 8-)

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  9. HAHA That's awesome. Sort of like the day I realized the neighbor could see in my kitchen and I tend to walk around on Saturday morning in various states of undress. Oddly, she's the one who put up curtains. I just move faster now.

    Don't know if you read her, but 24 at Heart does that often too!
    http://www.twentyfouratheart.com

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  10. Ha ha! That's funny. He may be back every day now.

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  11. You made me laugh out loud... thanks!


    I think that you will have a new best friend.

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  12. I thought that kind of thing only happened in dreams..like dreaming you are back in high school and can't remember the combination to your locker.

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  13. Ha Ha! Well, even if it didn't brighten your morning, I'm sure you brightened his!!

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  14. Hey, you made that guy's whole week and you'll be getting extra special attention from now on.

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  15. I would comment but I can't stop laughing, which is saying something, because four incisions in your stomach don't make it easy to guffaw like I just did.

    Well at least someone had a good morning! lol.

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  16. Betcha your grounds are going to get a LOT of extra tending. ...That sounds dirty, but I only mean you'll have someone spending extra time around your window hoping to catch another peek. ...Okay, so just creepy, not dirty.

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  17. You crack me up! You made his morning, huh?

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  18. LOL!
    hahahah


    Sorry!

    i said I wouldnt laugh at your tweet. Made no promises on old blog posts

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I live for validation.