29 May 2009

Sadly I have no need for such codes

Apparently every time I go to Chico for the weekend, my grandpa tells my mom something along the lines of, "God I hope she doesn't come back pregnant."

My mom says he thinks that "Going to Chico" is code for "Going to visit Gabriel's dad and have S-E-X." While ideally my grandpa wouldn't think about me having sex ever, at all, I would be less offended if he just thought "Going to Chico" was code for sex with strangers. The fact that he thinks it's remotely possible that I would still be sleeping with That Man is just...extra repulsive.

Also, Going To Chico is (unfortunately for me) not code for HAVING SEX with anyone. I mean, gawd, not because that wouldn't be nice and all. As a person who's managed to have sex exactly zero times in the past year, let me just tell you, I AM NOT OPPOSED.

So. While I know my grandpa doesn't read my blog because he's (a) legally blind and (b) did I mention blind, I do feel the need to point out that for one, Going To Chico is not a euphemism for Having The Sex (although I dearly wish it was) and for two, even if I did have some fancy-pants travel code for gettin' some, it would NEVER be with Gabriel's dad, and I would NOT be coming home pregnant.

19 comments:

  1. My friend's code is "getting her hair done"...which makes her FB Status updates super fun when she actually DOES go and get a haircut.

    I say keep it.

    Also, EW Grandpa, just ew.

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  2. Oh wow. LOL, after reading about That Man... I am repulsed on your behalf. Poor Grandpa. I surely hope my grandparents never speculate about my sex life. LOL

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  3. I could taste the icky when you said "That Man" Haha. Good one. So sorry you haven't gotten laid in a while. I say go for it!

    Just not with That Man.

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  4. Criminy.
    Amusing if disturbing. ;p

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  5. oh your grandpa is so funny. What a funny thing.

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  6. I didn't realize I should be thankful that my grandfather doesn't think about me having sex. Geez.

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  7. But I thought trips to Chico were all about drunken orgy bar hoppin. Doesn't one go there to drink crappy, cheap beer out of red plastic cups on frat house lawns?

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  8. Well then, child, what on earth DO YOU DO in Chico? Ha, ha.

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  9. this made me laugh (not your dry spell) ;)

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  10. You should have blog peeps come up with some 'code' and then have a poll to vote for the best one. Good times!

    blessings!

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  11. What the hell business of Grandpa's is it, anyway? Whether you have sex, and with whom. Dude needs to quit thinking that way about his granddaughter, I think.

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  12. Clearly you need some and The Man is an asshole.

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  13. Well, I go to Chico to see my friends too, and no, that doesn't mean "friends". I can't say that I ever drank cheap beer in Chico at the bars, but I love that it only costs about $6.00 for a Tangurey & tonic. Gramps is funny and you should have said "that BOY", I don't think he's graduated to the man stage of his life yet (haha).

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  14. HA, Gramps is too funny! I really hope your dry spell ends soon. Yikes!!!!

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  15. He he...I actually wish I had a good code for something like that. Good old grandpas though, they are always coming up with something.

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  16. I think a good step towards breaking out of the rut would be to never refer to it as Having The Sex. Trust me, I speak from experience. Only people like me find it funny.

    Just say you're going to have "pop-pop in the attic". Although under your particular circumstances, that might be just too disturbing.

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