27 May 2009

An exciting evening in text messaging

Edited because apparently I didn't have the text messages in the right order the first go around, and Julia pointed out that her responses make a lot more sense when you read the conversation in the correct order.

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I saw K at the club as we were leaving on Saturday night (at say, 145? 2am?). We made eye contact, but no words were spoken. About 27 seconds later, I got a text message. As I was going to check it, Julia plucked my phone out of my hands and told me, "Whatever insanity he's sending you, it's just going to make you angry and ruin your night." (She is wise) And then she responded to his texts, occasionally saying things out loud like, "Oh wow. He REALLY knows how to push your buttons" or "I can see why you get so MAD at him."

Their conversation went like this:

First message was deleted because Julia thought maybe he was only sending one and I could just pretend it wasn't true, but her response:

J -What are you talking about

K: I switched with you this weekend because you said you had something important to do with gabe and i see you here.

J - Gabe and i have important stuff to do but it's past his bedtime now! Thanks for the concern

K - I am here because you said you needed to switch for what reason? I was here for a wedding last time and you didn't watch gabe and he got his face scratched up.
K - Are you going to watch him tomorrow or will you let it happen again?
K - Gabe has NEVER been babysat with me so maybe leave with me the next time you need to see your girlfriend.

J- The reason is still the same. I am glad you are concerned but everything is fine! Thanks!

K - It's not just concern jenny, i don't need to go out, my girlfriend and i are happy staying home raising gabe if you aren't at the point in life where you can
K -Handle him. Think about him.

J- No that will not be necessary. Glad to hear you care about your son. He is safe and sound. Goodnight!
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SO. I love this exchange for a lot of reasons, mainly Julia's refusal to acknowledge K's insanity, which I am simply unable to do. But I would like to add some editorial, because I'm me.

I switched with you this weekend because you said you had something important to do with gabe and i see you here. Um. We switched weekends because I need to switch weekends in June for work, and K said that he wanted to switch now, which was fine with me because I like Gabriel and would be happy to have him every damned weekend, but not exactly a big important plan in my life. I asked him if he only wanted to switch for June, or from that point forward. He said from that point forward, so I asked him if he wanted to wait until June to start that, or start it now. He picked now. Also, I mentioned that my family was having a Memorial Day BBQ, which they did, on Memorial Day, which was Monday, so perhaps that is the important thing of which he's thinking?

Handle him. Think about him. Thanks for the advice dude. As the parent in this relationship that makes sure our son is nurtured and safe and healthy and happy, I've pretty much got this covered, but good to know it's on your mind too, what with you being his father and all. Thanks!

It's not just concern jenny, i don't need to go out, my girlfriend and i are happy staying home raising gabe if you aren't at the point in life where you can
Yeah, that won't be necessary, but I do have to ask: Which girlfriend? Inquiring minds want to know.

Gabe has NEVER been babysat with me so maybe leave with me the next time you need to see your girlfriend. Ooh my girlfriend. Nice. Gabriel has most likely never been babysat when he's with you because you only have him one night every couple of weeks. And who the fuck would you have babysit? Gabriel's in a home he's known since he was less than a year old, with people he's known just as long. My friends, who I know I can trust, who have kids of their own.

Are you going to watch him tomorrow or will you let it happen again? Um. What?

I am here because you said you needed to switch for what reason? I was here for a wedding last time and you didn't watch gabe and he got his face scratched up. I'll assume you're talking about this. Which leads me to believe that in your strange little mind the fact that Leo scratched Gabriel in what was literally a 2 second interaction on a Saturday afternoon would somehow have been prevented had I not chosen to go out, once both children were asleep, on Saturday night. I am dying to have this theory explained to me in greater detail. Seriously. I'm on the edge of my seat.

19 comments:

  1. Wow.

    That guy sounds sort of like my mom - totally crazy and illogical. I'm sorry!

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  2. .. but at least you recognize that he's totally nuts.

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  3. Uuuugh. I hate the crazies! At least you (and the rest of us) know the truth.

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  4. DingleBerryDoucheBag.

    That seems like a special brand of crazy. I can't wait to know if he ever explains that!

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  5. I love that Gabriel's scratch somehow came up in the ranty texts. It's just such a complete non-sequitor. It's as if when you go out you just leave Gabriel awake in a pit with bobcats and snakes, and *that* is how he got scratched.

    Not, you know, in the middle of the afternoon while he's right next to you. Because that's what happens to kids. All kids. All the time.

    (Seriously. I can't count the bruises on Mather's legs).

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  6. You need to find out who this girlfriend is and WARN HER.
    Daph

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  7. i find it interesting that he's out in a bar (with this mysterious girlfriend?) and apparently having such a good time, that he spends the next hour sending nonsensical texts to you without any sort of response.

    i guess it takes all kinds, but usually when i'm out, i'm, like, having fun with my friends.

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  8. He's clearly looking for ways to make you wrong. They don't need to make sense or be rational. He wants to be right, he wants you to be wrong, end of story. Your friend was right to step in. You don't need the noise.

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  9. So those texts are actually out of order (though the insanity still shines right through!). I emailed you...

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  10. That is unbelievable. I'm glad your friend didn't give into his insanity and give him the validation he clearly wants. He just wants to make you feel bad, don't let him. Jerk.

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  11. i hate this sort of shit...my ex used to try this condascending passive aggressive bullshit on me too...it is always easy when you don't actually have to parent asshole!...hang in there and don't let this get to you...thank god for your girlfriend...hugs

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  12. So much for the new and improved K!

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  13. this person makes me insane and I've never met him. good lord jenny, please get rid of him.

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  14. Well, at least he's consistent right? LOL

    Man, I wish I had a text handler....

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  15. Special K. Yeah, he's special all right; as in special education.

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  16. If K had been that suicide jumper on that bridge in China, I so would be the guy who climbed up, shook his hand and then pushed him!

    just saying.....

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  17. I had to do labor breathing to get through the crap he said.

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I live for validation.