09 February 2009


I became friends with Ben because he misspelled bureaucracy in a drunken note left on the door to my dorm room more than 8 years ago. We've been to Vegas. We've scandalized a LOT of people. We've poisoned our livers. We've waxed our bikini lines together.

Ben draws on his nipples

He used to be one of the filthiest boys I knew. He tells me that since he's starting washing his clothes that's changed. But I wonder, Ben: Do you still pee in Gatorade bottles because you're too lazy to leave your room?

Freshman Year

He only dates psychotic women.

He used to get paid to be Jewish.

Together we can drink anyone under the table.

I'm visiting him in March.

Happy Birthday Benji my love.



  1. You failed to mention that you guys were engaged to be married. But you broke it off when you couldn't get time off work.

  2. Happy Birthday to your friend, Benji. He sounds like a lot of fun...as do you.

  3. Happy birthday, person I don't know.

  4. Yea, Ben always dated the psychos, but he managed to have the most kickass girlFRIENDS ever. lucky, lucky man. - Daphne

  5. Umm, is Benji the one you're visiting in Boston by chance? I forget your travel schedule, but if he is, I wanna join you guys ;)

  6. Peein' in Gatorade bottles... ain't nothin' wrong with that.

    Why do you think they have those wide-mouth openings?