My sister woke me up WAY TO EARLY on Saturday to call and ask me a question that I'm not repeating here because it casts her in a mildly unfavorable light, and, well, I like her. Then I went to coffee with Julie, drove back to my house and met K, who took Gabriel, then drove back downtown to dick around for awhile before I met Molly and Danny. Almost immediately, I ran into my aunt, my mom's cousin Sydney, and my mom's other cousin's mail-order-bride, Orn. They were going to lunch.
I sort of acted like maybe I would meet them later. Then I bolted. I actually wouldn't mind the lunch or the company, but I was definitely relishing my solitude, and was about to go to lunch anyways. We went to the Crepe Place, and it was good, except that it wasn't AS good as my most favorite restaurant of all, Pacific Crepes (in Santa Barbara), but it was really nice to have a quiet moment with Molly and Danny, especially since I knew the next time I saw them I would be drunk, and it would be loud.
I spent the rest of the afternoon meticulously rearranging my DVDs, shaving my legs, eating peanut butter, you know, important stuff. Then I met my sister and brother and we walked downtown to the Catalyst, where The Devil Makes Three was playing. I gave one of my tickets to Duncan and took the other two to give to Krishna, although the show was totally sold out, and I could have sold those suckers for money! More proof that I'm a good friend? Probably not.
Then we went back to Callahan's, where my lovely friends had taken over the jukebox, and I walked in on Britney Spears, followed shortly by E-40. Because we are awfully cool people.
It didn't take much drinking for my sister to reprise her Double Chin Plus Cleavage for Maximum Skin Folds Campaign, which should explain my pictures.
Then Molly said something about how I certainly didn't win the baby daddy lottery (truth), and my sister took that as her cue to rag on me about my taste in men and then blame it all on Molly.
At some point I kept trying to talk to Molly about something TOTALLY TRIVIAL and she was having an ACTUALLY IMPORTANT conversation with Darien, and it was really frustrating because, um, I wanna hold your hand and talk shit about this crusty bar hag over here? I'd also like to tell you I love you. Why do you have to be so focused on reality? Or being a good friend or whatever.
Unrelated, I felt that Molly was weirdly concerned that I was flirting with Darien. And I wasn't! Unless it was in the vague I-flirt-with-everyone-when-I'm-drunk way, but in that case, I was also flirting with my sister. And the jukebox. And maybe a pool table. I'm pretty sure I spent some time flirting with the sidewalk, but that was before I decided to flirt with my french fries. So maybe I should rephrase. I didn't THINK I was flirting with him. But also I couldn't quite figure out about the high level of distress. It made me think that maybe he's a closet heroin addict or something. Hopefully he's not?
At some point the bar closed, or we left, or both. Probably both. Do you know what happens when I leave Callahan's and walk towards my sister's house, RIGHT PAST JACK IN THE BOX?? I really, REALLY want to eat at Jack in the Box, where the bastards close their front doors at 10 and (as I've mentioned before) don't allow people to walk through the drive thru, which is a Very. Bad. Idea.
So my sister and I started scoping out cars to climb into so that we could order food. We did NOT get into the SUV full of gangsters. Nor did we climb aboard with the guy I thought looked like a child molester. What we did do? Climb into the First Alarm Truck, with our new friend J.C. My sister's husband says this was stupid. I say he couldn't exactly go anywhere, trapped in a drive thru line like that (Molly has a picture of that here).
After we ate delicious fried goodness, I sat in my car outside of my sister's house drinking water and wondering by what miracle I had been deemed trustworthy with my car keys.
However, since I HAD been trusted with my own keys, I actually sat my ass there until I was sober enough to drive home.
And then I did.
Woke up Sunday morning with a pounding headache, reeking of cigarettes. Slept until 10, then lay in bed in my chonies eating popsicles and staring at the ceiling until I dragged my ass downtown to meet my sister and my mom for lunch.