29 December 2008

Ever the diplomat

So. On Christmas Eve Gabriel had a weird rash on his knees. I gave him some Benadryl thinking it might be bug bites of some sort, but that didn't improve things. He seemed to otherwise feel fine. On Saturday it was neither better nor worse, but I had definitely been keeping an eye on it, and if I didn't see improvement I was going to take him to the doctor on Monday. Sunday his dad decided to crawl out of whatever hole he was hiding in and visit his kid (he had been apparently avoiding me after he wrote me a bad check and did nothing to fix it). Well that morning Gabriel woke up with the weird rash on his elbows as well, plus one little bump on his butt cheek. I told K that if the rash was still there on Monday he should take Gabriel either to his old pediatrician in Chico, or to urgent care in Sacramento, and made sure that he had all his insurance info.

This morning I talked to K, and Gabriel has Chicken Pox and (unrelated) Bronchitis. The Chicken Pox are localized (in my opinion bizarrely) on his knees because he's had the vaccine. Usefulness of this vaccine? Questionable.

Gabey's had a cough honestly for six weeks or so, but it hasn't been affecting his mood or his energy, he hasn't been acting sick, and it doesn't keep him from sleeping or playing, so I haven't taken him to the doctor.

Well. Do you want to hear K's version of events?
Apparently all urgent care centers in the greater Sacramento area are closed today, and Gabe had to go the hospital. Also? There aren't any pharmacies within a reasonable vicinity of this hospital OR K's house, so he couldn't fill the prescription for Gabriel's antibiotics (because the Dr. felt the bronchitis was bacterial). Oh! And there is no such thing as a note from a doctor that says when a child with Chicken Pox is safe to go back to school. Such a guideline does not exist! These notes have never been written! The notes that other kids get? They're not what I think they are, nor are they what I've seen with my eyes, because those don't exist. Of course I'm a wretchedly bad mother both for (a) not recognizing a rash on the knees of a child vaccinated against Chicken Pox as Chicken Pox and (b) neglecting his bronchitis, which K now feels he has had the entirety of the past six weeks. Let's just nevermind that he had a cold, bronchitis! I had a cold? Bronchitis! I'm a terrible mother. Mind you, I'm also a terrible mother because I've only driven Gabriel to see his dad five times (yes you can do the math and see that it was more than that, particularly with all the drives to San Jose/SF, but who am I to argue?). Oh and when I drive up there, I'm cruelly keeping Gabriel from his father, and only letting them see each other for a minimum of time. Our conversations have never once gone like this:
Me: Do you want Gabriel Friday or Saturday?
Him: I have plans on Friday.
Me: Okay, Saturday then.
Of course I'm a bitch for caring that he doesn't support his son financially. Heinous of me, to inquire as to when he's planning on making up the money he NEVER PAID in September, or the check that bounced and ruined my financial situation just last week. How could I? (I'm of the opinion that I shouldn't be expected to drive Gabriel hundreds of miles to see his father if his father doesn't offer financial support. He can see him whenever he wants on his own time, but if he wants me to drive, he needs to come through with the money. Awful I know.)
Anyhow.
Obviously.
This was all my fault, and I'm a horrid bitch and a negligent mother.

And unrelated to this weekend, but also annoying: K and I were having a fairly amicable conversation regarding Gabriel's ability to recognize letters and numbers, etc. He made a comment about how great his school must be. I said that I went to Gabriel's school when I was a little girl, and he said, "Oh. Never mind then. It couldn't be the school." You know, because I'm so stupid? And none of Gabe's brain came from me? I mean, I'm barely a functioning adult. I don't know how I got through middle school, let alone got a masters degree. I'm so stupid, the PRESCHOOL I went to was tainted by my bad braincells.

10 comments:

  1. I have never fully appreciated the comment so many people have made to me since the divorce:
    "it's good that you didn't have kids"
    because, well, I wanted kids, still do, but that's a whole other story.

    Now that I hear so many horror stories about the dreaded exes that you must interact with because of children... I GET IT...

    I am sorry that he is such an ass... I know you know that all his bullshit is completely undeserved, but I will say it anyway... even without having personally met you, I know that you are a great mom -- and consistently rising above the madness to keep your child as the priority.

    Happy New Year...

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  2. You are a beautiful and incredible person! You obviously know how ridiculous his accusations are based on the way you wrote them, but you shouldn't have to deal with being demeaned that way and I'm so sorry to hear its happening to you. People do incredibly painful things when they realize they've messed up.

    Sending you lots of love and hopes for a less dramatic 2009! <3 you!

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  3. Can I come there and kick his butt myself? Please?

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  4. I know this must be horribly difficult - but you have a great way about you (at least it seems from all that I know about you from reading your blog - okay, not too much) but I can tell that you are able to keep your sense of humor. Good luck with all of this - it probably won't get easier - but Gabey will get so much more from you than just a few brain cells. It seems that he is one lucky little boy.

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  5. I know this must be horribly difficult - but you have a great way about you (at least it seems from all that I know about you from reading your blog - okay, not too much) but I can tell that you are able to keep your sense of humor. Good luck with all of this - it probably won't get easier - but Gabey will get so much more from you than just a few brain cells. It seems that he is one lucky little boy.

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  6. I'm not going to say ANYTHING because I'm already not allowed to see Gabe because of my comments. What's next? Will I not be allowed to see you?


    I will note once more though...
    Baby-daddy lottery = Not won by Jenny.

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  7. I'm sorry- i posted before about my struggles with the single mom/sucky dad thing, if you ever want to talk...
    beezus74@hotmail.com
    hang in there.

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  8. My daughter got chicken pox too and she had the vaccine. It was mostly on her legs, and only a few on her arms, thankfully. However, the school said she wasn't allowed back for a full school week. I didn't know this until I had already sent her back. The school nurse looked at her, and noted that she had no marks and I said it was a mild case because of the vaccine. Anyway, she'd had it for several days already before I knew what it was either, and went to school for 3 days with it. It's contagious until all the blisters are scabbed over.

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  9. Can you send some chicken pox virus here??? I WANT lil moonspun to get it, she is not vaccinated.
    And seriously, you don't actually LISTEN to K do you? He's obviously irresponsible, bitter and feels crappy about himself. So he wants you to feel the same. DO NOT fall for it. It's crap. You are a great mom and Gabe is lucky to have you.

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  10. I'll put K on my list too. I'm whipping ass and cleaning house around these parts. I would come totally clean... but right about that time Mickey would find my blog... but honey, I'm whipping ass. Send K my way.

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I live for validation.