07 October 2008

Advice from my mother

Condoms are not an effective means of birth control.

Credit cards are for emergencies, not splurges.

Only stupid people get bored.

Sometimes you should just shut up, even if you're right.

It's not always about sex.

Go to college.

Don't waste your money on nice cars. Waste your money on nice trips.

Real estate is hardly ever the best way to invest your money.

Balance your checkbook.

Everyone likes potatoes.

If you don't feel well, go to bed.

The food at McDonald's is made out of cardboard and chemicals. We don't eat there.

Don't pretend to be something that you're not.

Science has always answered all of my questions.


You don't have to love working, but you should do something that you don't hate.

You shouldn't use garbage bags.

You should try to buy food in the simplest, most whole form possible.

Calculus explains the world and makes it beautiful.

Study chemistry. It makes sense.

All kids need to play dress-up.

Don't fight with your sister.

It's important to understand the mechanics of how things work.

Drugs destroy human capacity for happiness.

Money doesn't always solve your problems, but being poor often creates them.

Celebrate your birthday on your birthday. That's what it's for.

Work is important.

Be good. But don't be so good that you don't have fun.

Don't call unless you need something.

Toothpaste polishes silver.

Tip generously.

If a movie's bad, leave. You've already wasted the money, don't waste the time.

If you don't want it, get rid of it.


  1. Your mother sounds like a damn fine woman.

  2. Um, what do we put the garbage in, if not in a bag? Did I read that wrong? lol

  3. If I remember correctly your mom also said something like: Appreciate your body. You have an ass and that's the most important curve.

  4. hey this is good stuff! not bad, mom.

  5. What a wise woman. My my, we could all learn something from her and listen to her.

    Has the black cloud lifted?

  6. I really like this idea. Genius. I do like the movie comment, about leaving wasting money and time. That's a very good point.

  7. Your mother sounds pretty kickass.

  8. Your mom is awesome! I'm thinking of printing out this list to check out now and then.

    And I don't generally do such things.

    I'm going to tag on an additional, previously unspoken item that somehow got left off, if I may: Always, always listen to your mother.

  9. Neat. But:

    You shouldn't use garbage bags.

    I'm wondering, too: did I miss something?

  10. She sounds lovely... good advice. Confused on the trash bags. Also? I'm not so good with math... but otherwise very solid ;-)

    Thanks, babe, for digging this up.

  11. Garbage bags: My mom doesn't think you should buy things with the express purpose of throwing them away, so she uses shopping bags and whatnot for trash. She also composts and recycles, which cuts down on a lot of icky trash.

  12. Man, I feel the same way about garbage bags! Still buy them, but HATE.
    P.S. your mom must be awesome.