16 September 2008


Isn't it handy how I work in a bookstore? Still coming off the high of Twilight, which I finished Sunday, yesterday afternoon I picked up New Moon. I didn't get started reading it until after 7, and I had SORT OF hoped it would last me a couple days, so I was a little disappointed in myself for staying up till 2am to finish reading it. I have questions.
Spoiler Alert: I am not going to give away any key plot points, but I am going to discuss some general premises. If you don't like that, here are some llamas. Go look at them.

1. They establish in New Moon that it's not just that Edward can't read Bella's mind, no vampires can do any of the "extra" stuff on her. So how come Jasper can affect her moods, make her sleep, blah blah blah? Isn't that some of the extra vampire stuff? And how come Alice can tell the future with her, which I feel should be another thing blocked? Alice cannot foresee anything to do with werewolves, so there clearly ARE blocks, and I feel like the author asserting that no vampires can use their extra gifts on her really SHOULD be across the board.

2. So item one was really my only legitimate complaint with the structure of the book. The rest are just me and my crazy. So you know. Anyways. I know that homegirl who wrote the books is a Mormon, so maybe takes issue to premarital humping. But dammit if I'm not getting any nookie, I really need my fictional heroines to at least be getting some.

3. She needs to make kissing Edward sound more appealing. I mean, I don't want to kiss frozen granite, no matter how much in love with it I am.

4. In the first two books I've stumbled across a couple of blatant typos. I think that the editors of national best sellers should do a better job.

5. I don't know how Bella can have the hots for the vampires and not the clearly sexier, more fun, kinder werewolves, who could even make babies with you and grow old with you and stuff, while just being full of mystical hotness. I don't buy it, true love or otherwise.

Yeah, so, I'm running on three hours of sleep, which is making multitasking exceedingly difficult, in case I'm not "around" much today. It's because I picked work over internet.


I remembered number six:
6. Okay, so I want to know about the vampire internal organs. They have to drink blood, so where does the blood go? Do they have kidneys? Do they pee? When Edward takes a bite of pizza to prove a point, what happens? Does he later poop it out? Because I mean, if breathing's optional, how does food factor in? Do they themselves have blood circulating in their bodies, be it vampire blood or otherwise? How is the blood they drink absorbed into their systems? Despite my willing suspension of disbelief, I still want the "scientific" explanation. Has the author covered this?


  1. If "Do Vampires Poop?" isn't a children's book already it most certainly should be!

  2. I just sent you an e-mail ... too much to put in a comment!

  3. Oh, forgot to mention. I know you are looking for new music (hence the CD exchange...) If you look @ Stephenie Meyer's web site, there is a tab for each book. For each book there is a playlist that was going through her head when she wrote each book...it's pretty interesting - not what you would expect from a Mormon mom.

  4. I'm pretty sure there is a Wikipedia page for vampires.

    It would surprise me if there wasn't.

  5. where are the llamas? I just want to see the llamas.

  6. #3 has been bothering me too.

    I can't say anymore here. I am almost done with Eclipse and I don't want to give anything away.

  7. OK (and I'm totally giving away my geekdom here...don't tell).....
    1)They do explain that later in the series...like WAY later....but it makes sense. In the end.
    2)Tell me about it! From what I understand they wouldn't "buy" the series in the beginning as adult so she had to gear it towards young adult. And I'm not sure how many young adult publishers would be OK with the whole 'gettin it on' thing.
    3) Hmmm....I'd still do it.
    4) Yes....there are a few.
    5) NO! Please tell me you are NOT on team Jacob! Dammit. I'm going to have to put on my team Edward t-shirt and come have a chat with you (remember....no telling about the geek thing)
    6) They get into it later in the series. Last book kind of later. It does get explained (kind of).

    PS I get the feeling you are going to rip the last book a new arsehole. It's...well, just not as good.

  8. Hmmm... well, Most everything is addressed and settled by the end of Breaking Dawn.

    I will say though that I found B.D. a bit disappointing, but at least most everything did get wrapped up and answered.

    And #6 does get addressed too.... mostly! Have faith and READ!!!! :)