This was one of those mornings where every possible little fuckery that probably won't happen? Totally happened.
First I set my alarm wrong. But I didn't realize right away because I had to be at work early today so I thought I set my alarm right and I even hit snooze (I know this goes against what I've previously said about me and alarms, but I'm fucking exhausted). So then I was even later than if I had just been an idiot and miss-set my alarm and been late. Then I couldn't find my stupid geek polo shirt that we're all wearing at work to identify ourselves as People Who Can Help. My stupid polo shirt is, by the way, a men's shirt, because we only order one kind of shirt even though more than half the people who work here are women. So the sleeves come down to my elbows but it comes in all awkwardly at the hips and basically the only good thing about it is that it looks bad on EVERYONE, so I'm not the only dowdy fat girl at work theses days. Then I found my shirt but I spilled my cereal on my pants. And I couldn't remember if I'd put deodorant on or not so I put it on again, but the second time (or maybe first), I got it all over my stupid shirt that I already hate anyways.
I'm wearing my sneakers today because I have to be on my feet for 11 hours, but I keep my sneakers in the car so I was wearing socks with birkenstocks which is totally sexy and I got to Gabriel's school, and I forgot I was wearing my hippy shoes until I was inside signing him in, and then I felt weird about explaining it to his teacher, who hadn't asked, but I also COULD NOT let her believe that I thought this was okay, so instead I just stuttered a little bit before running away abruptly. Then I forgot to leave his carseat which I need to leave there because my sister's picking him up, so I had to go back for that, and that made me even later than I already was, which wasn't even that late, it's just that I was all panicked from the initial thought of lateness. Because I am insane.
And then I was halfway to the bus stop from my house when I realized that I was still wearing birkenstocks.
Then I was at the bus stop finally and two just passed me by because they were full before one finally stopped for me.
I had to sit by a smelly guy who insisted on waving his armpits around and smelling even more. 7:45 is awfully early in the morning to be so ripe.
They were already out of my kind of coffee when I got to work, so I got my second choice, which I try not to get because it's got twice the caffeine of normal coffee. But the other choices are weird hazelnut sissy crap that I can't stand.
I can't find my gold nametag so I have to wear my pink nametag.
All of the people who irritate me at this job are being extra-much irritating.
It's only 10:30.