I got bored of trying to google myself and started googling relatives:
John Stokely is my great-grandpa (dad's mom's dad) and when he was alive, Gatorade mogul.
John Cotton was my great-somethingorother-grandpa; we've been in this country a long-ass time.
We're also the Underwoods.
We're also Adams(es?). Booyah for chewing gum.
My grandpa (mom's dad) is locally famous as the founder of The Catalyst.
Maybe not famous, but my grandpa (dad's dad) is published, and has been practicing medicine for something like 62 years. Holy shnikeys.
Great grandpa Duncan J- (dad's dad's dad), totally ratified the 21st amendment to the US Constitution. Probably had something to do with being the Mayor in 1935.
I ask you: Why am I poor?