01 August 2008

Playful banter, literally.

Correct usage, actual example:
Coworker friend:  That's a gay-ass fucking car.
Me:  What is it about that car specifically that inspires gay ass fucking, do you think?
Coworker friend:  Shut the fuck up, I didn't mean literally gay, I meant gay like I'm a 14-year-old boy and that's the only word I know for LAME.
Me:  I know, I'm just fucking with you.  And anyways, I think it's more of a fag hag car.

Incorrect usage, actual examples:
Macho student coworker to another student worker:  It was hot.  I literally fucked the shit out of her.
Me, walking past:  I don't think you have ANY idea what you just said. 

Bimbette coworker:  God it's so hot today.  I am literally on fire.
Coworker friend:  No shit!  Really??
Bimbette coworker:  Really, I can't believe we don't have air conditioning here!
Me:  Are you on fire, or is it more like a burning sensation?  Either way I think you need medical treatment, but there's a pretty big difference.
Bimbette coworker:  *giggle* You guys are so weird.  *flounces off*

lit·er·al·ly     Audio Help   [lit-er-uh-lee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
1.in the literal or strict sense: What does the word mean literally?
2.in a literal manner; word for word: to translate literally.
3.actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy: The city was literally destroyed.


  1. Lol. Anecdotes like these are funny 'cause as Calvin Broadus once said, "This type-o-shit happens eva-ry-day!" He meant that literally, of course.

  2. I hate the term "fucked the shit".

    It brings about some really gross mental images.

  3. I laughed so much, I literally got tears in my eyes. Also, literally wheezed.

  4. This is great-- it's always reassuring to see other people fighting the good fight.

    I'm assuming you must already know about this, but in case you don't, you (and anyone who enjoyed this post) should check out Literally, A Web Log-- it's an ever-growing database of hilarity just like this.