25 August 2008

I've gotta stop giving myself skin cancer

I was totally not going to synopsize (yes it's a word, shut the fuck up Blogger automatic spellchecker! Hey! Spellchecker is a word too! Fuck you) my weekend until I uploaded my pictures, because I'm always SUPER lame and writing, "Hey I did this and this and this, pictures to come!" and then either NEVER uploading the pictures, or else a week later adding pictures to some completely unrelated post like here's my kid at The Boardwalk, and now I'm going to tell you something about the BlogHer conference, and I just think that if I read this blog, that would really bug the shit out of me. But what the fuck ever, I'm at work and I'm bored, so I'm going to write this post anyways and hey! I'll upload the pictures later. If you don't like it you can suck it.
Friday night I did indeed go out with Megan and Mira, except that they wanted to go see the Gin Blossoms at the Boardwalk, and I don't like concerts (that is a WHOLE 'nother post that I simply do not have time for here and now), and also I don't really like The Boardwalk (unless I'm taking my child, or I'm in high school, and in this case, neither would be true, and seriously? I don't want to be sandy in the dark), so I called my sister and got her to come out too, so we could meet everyone else downtown, which is what we did. Laura and I decided to go to The Avenue on account of The Asti was playing its jukebox so loudly that we actually couldn't hear each other, and The Avenue is next door (don't you love it when I devote an entire long-winded sentence to vaguely exclusive references to local dive bars? You probably don't love it as much as my long parenthetical notations...). There was this guy with a visible erection mounting a 300lb girl on a bar stool, but I think you may need to wait for the pictures to fully comprehend that.
Saturday I did indeed go to San Francisco. We spent the day in Dolores Park, surrounded by naked gay men and a palsied pug dog. I was telling my mom about it and she asked something to the effect of, "Not literally naked, right?" and I clarified that I only saw one fully naked man, sunbathing....on his back. When he saw Gabriel he put his thong on, which was nice. Oh and I definitely met a man whose long dangly earring, was, no joke, a miniature iPhone charm. I don't have the words. Saturday was the hottest day I've ever experienced in San Francisco, and I got totally sunburned, which just seemed unfair. Oh and I was double-dared (who can resist a dare?) to look in the out of order stall in the park bathroom, which turned out to be filled with used hypodermic needles, shit, and a whole lot of pubic hair. Like a lot of pubic hair. By the time Gabe and I got back home on Saturday we were all sunned out and exhausted, so I think we fell asleep by maybe 9?
Sunday I went to my mom's house, and she made pizza for dinner, and my sister taught me how to play Canasta, and I taught James how to score a game of dominoes on a piece of paper.

Still time for my CD Exchange! Let me know!


  1. I am never going into a public bathroom stall ever again.

  2. Hahahaha an IPhone earring... seriously?? Hahaha

    Girl, Dolores Park is so totally sunny and warm likw 360 days of the year, for serious.

    Am I the only person on here that lives vicariously through your Santa Cruz/San Francisco adventures?

    Public bathrooms within a 5 mile radius of The Castro should NEVER be utilized unless you are scoring scoring some blow (either in powder form or in the um, literal term). Which I guess means you couldn't use public bathrooms anywhere in SF b/c the city is only 7x7. Hahaha

  3. Oh I wasn't using the bathroom. Gabey had to pee, and I thought about it for like, 7 seconds? And then he peed on a palm tree, which didn't look like it had AIDS.

  4. You're right, I love the long parenthetical notations, but the long winded sentences come in as a close second. Who needs actual (literal?) visuals when you have lpn and lws?

  5. So, uhm, Jenny? Hey Jenny. Since I'm MUCH older than you, I will re-enjoy my youth through you. You know, vicariously. And also the California thing as I live in the midwest.

    So you don't like concerts, what's up with that? Okay, future post.

    And yes, now you owe us pictures.

    The whole CD Exchange sounds great, but I'm totally techno challenged and wouldn't know how to make a CD. Plus being MUCH older...fine, OLD; I don't know if anyone would want a CD of the music I listen to. Or maybe they would. You can check out my 100 Things (of which I only have 30) to get an idea of what I listen to.

    Anyhoo, I like coming here to visit you.

  6. So how warm is "hot" in San Fran? Sure as heck wasn't warm during BlogHer!!

    Bummer about sunburn, here's hoping it gets better quickly!

  7. I am on the edge of my seat for photos. Please tell my you have one of the guy with the erection! My fingers are crossed for a good laugh!

  8. It's always amused me that "spellcheck" isn't in the spell-checking dictionaries.

    And you have to wonder what people are doing when you see more than two pubes on a public toilet/urinal. Do they never wash, or are they just of a breed that has an uncontrollable shedding season?