Friday night, after the rehearsal dinner, at an Irish pub, from a Marriott security guard (in uniform), directed to my friend Kathy:
"Your friend is about to find out what 9 1/2 inches feels like inside of her womb."
Saturday night, after we had come home from the bars, from another wedding guest:
"Do you wanna go to the stairwell? You know, to be alone?"
No thanks to both of those, but they were EXCELLENT tries.