29 February 2008

Gabriel Lovey Dove

I'm lying on the couch. Gabriel is standing next to me putting stickers on his arms.

"You tired Mama?"

"Yeah love, I'm pretty tired."

"You wish you was sleeping?"

"That'd be nice, but I'm okay."

"You wanna lie down?"

"I'm lying down on the couch. It's too early to lie down in bed because we still have to eat dinner."

"Here Mama, I rub your back for you."

And he did.

Trying to pull it together

Over the past few weeks I've spent less than no time at home. I went to Idaho, then snowboarding, then to Santa Cruz, then to Philadelphia, all with between zero and two days break in between. Just enough time to mess up my house with not nearly enough time to put it right again.

Then Monday I got a job offer in Santa Cruz, and made the decision to move. In two short weeks. And I've done nothing to prepare for that eventuality. Well I've decided what I'm getting rid of, in the most theoretical of ways. But that's about it.

My house is gross.

I'm tired.

26 February 2008

My favorite photos from this weekend

The Flight to Philadelphia

I sat by this guy, who was trying to talk/flirt with me. And this was a redeye flight, and I wasn't frankly very interested. So after several failed attempts, he just started asking me questions that he could answer. Examples:

"So are you flying out from L.A.?"
"Oh. I am. Are you from Philadelphia?"
"I am, I live in L.A. now, but I'm going back to meet my parents."

"So. Are you headed back on Tuesday?"
"No....Are you headed back on Tuesday?"
"Yeah, I'm taking three days off work, I go back Tuesday."

"So...Do you work in advertising?"
"Oh I do. I work for an advertising firm in Los Angeles. I live in Los Angeles."

He actually did introduce himself to me, but what I really REALLY wanted him to say was, "So, is your name Orlando? Mine is."

Big Changes

I still haven't written about Philadelphia, and I still plan to, but I must interrupt a flow of amazing-ness to announce the following:

Yesterday I accepted a position in Santa Cruz, to start March 17th. I'll be staying with my parents until I'm not paying rent in Chico anymore and can therefore move forward with renting an apartment. My last day at work here is Friday, March 14th.

Anyone wanna throw me a party? I won't object.

25 February 2008

Philadelphia, Scene I, UPDATED

I really don't know where to begin, so I'll just summarize two of our cab rides.

Ride I, Airport to Molly's house, at around 5:30 in the morning:

After getting overexcited about finding the ATM, and subsequently losing the baggage claim, we got into a cab, and gave the man Molly's address (on 44th street, that will become important later). The rate from the airport to anywhere in town is a flat rate of $26.25, also important later. After driving around like a drunken koala bear for FAR too long, the man starts to ask us, "Is this the house?" "We don't know we've never been there." "Is this the house?" "We don't know, we've never been there." "Is THIS the house?" "We don't know, we've never been there! Logic tells me that **** 44th is reasonably near **** 44th (Edited because Molly didn't want her address on here...strange), so this might be it." "44TH?!?! Shit, we on 41st..." Then it took us about fifteen more minutes to get to Molly's house, during which time Kathy texted me important questions, like "Is our cabby drunk?" We give him $30. He asks, "Only THIRTY??" Uh....yeah...

Ride II, Center City back to Rental House, some time in the afternoon:

We hail cab. Mallika, Stacy and Kathy move for the back seat, which leaves me in the front seat. Oh well. I get in. Car starts. Kathy shrieks, hopping along the street with one foot on the ground and one foot in the car. "Whoops." We drive back, listening to the Soul Train soundtrack. Series of grunting and feeling around in dark parts of the car. When we get out, Mallika says, "Let's not speak, because Molly needs to hear ALL OF THIS."

EDITED because I just remembered the third cab ride which I must share with y'all, Ride III, downtown Saturday night:

I don't remember all the details, but cabby was African (as in from Africa, not as in fancy way of saying black). Our conversation went something like this-
"So where are you from?"
"Sierra Leone."
"How's that genocide treating you?"
"Not very good."
And I was his favorite person in the cab, the one with whom he wanted to continue a conversation. My social skills are sometimes lacking...

20 February 2008

Text Messages, first installment

Before I delete these, I'll share my favorites with you, gentle readers (reprinted exactly as they appear in my phone):
  • Fuck me running I'm a midget magnet!!
  • Where might one purchase sweater tights?
  • Something murderous, or funny.
  • I was in my class and my stomach was gurgling. I had to run to the toilet it was great!
  • My depth perception is all off, I keep running into walls
  • This squirrel is hurting my soul
  • I cant help it at 3am i remember im in love with you. Dont you want me to tell you about it?
  • So I told him I posted the pix and he got pissed. But then he tried on another, tighter, pair. Mixed messages?
  • I heard one of them refer to me as the scariest person in class and then 4 people were all 'who? Molly?' not sure why.
  • That is unbelievable. God hath smote you.... because you havent suffered enough this year?
  • Holy home sex event. I am keeping this an option! And he is fun to be around. Yay!
  • Virgo - Work issues or school dramas are distracting you. Is this the wrong crowd for you?
  • I never called you creative retarded maybe not creative
  • Your souls not black. Gray maybe.
  • I think you just shamed jesus
  • Whatever that guys a total herpe and you dont deserve herpes
  • I was in paradise this morning and i thought of you
  • Wanted to respond w something zen but i'm too drunk still
  • At least if i was high there would be no shame. I dont think i can live it down!
  • Remember sex? I miss sex. Sex and I had a very loving relationship.

19 February 2008


There's this book, and the whole premise is apparently not to write about boring nonsense on your blog. And the title, No One Cares What You Had for Lunch, seems to be driving that point home, like, writing about what you had for lunch is the most boring thing you could possibly do. Noted, but I'm writing about it anyways, as it was a very typical day, and illustrative of the fact that my life is pathetic and my diet sucks.

I woke up this morning and didn't eat, which is, like, hello? Most important meal of the day anyone? And I know that, but I'm not really very hungry in the morning. Actually, when I wake up in the morning the thought of food nauseates me. So I woke up at 6, didn't eat breakfast. I got to work at 745, and at about 815 I had a cup of coffee, black. Black because I haven't had the time to buy milk for work, and I hate creamer and sweeteners and all that coffee garbage. At about 930 I had coffee cup #2.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this would happen to anyone who made bad choices, but two cups of coffee on an empty stomach gave me a touch of The Insane, and I spent until lunch motoring around my desk like a supermodel on her third line of coke.
I get an hour for lunch. I think that I may have mentioned before that I do not care for having an hour lunch in Oroville, CA. I find it extraordinarily distasteful. But today I actually had banking to do and errands to run, so I was RUNNING AROUND for an hour, paying bills and whatnot. I hadn't brought lunch, so this didn't matter, except that if one has been awake for 7 hours subsisting only on calorie-free beverages, and in fact it may be 20 hours since the last time one ingested ANYTHING AT ALL, one might start to get cranky. And crank I did. I rummaged through my purse (because I totally am one of those crazy-as-a-bat ladies with a peanut butter sandwich in one pocket, just in case) and found: raw, unsalted pistachios, and seaweed. Why were these two foodstuffs in my purse? I cannot say. I ate large quantities of both. I felt sick.
At 430 I realized that I still had half of coffee cup number three on my desk, cold. I didn't want to leave it there overnight, so I downed it in one gulp.
When I got home I started cooking dinner, and cooking dinner reminded me that P.S. BRAIN YOUR BODY IS TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE STARVING. Because three cups of coffee, half a bag of raw pistachios, and 10 rectangles(?) of seaweed is just not....balanced? Or normal?
So I compensated with half a bag of chips (flax seed tortilla chips? does that make it better?), and salsa. And then an ice cream sandwich. And then I ate my dinner. And then I ate Gabe's dinner. And now my tummy doesn't feel good again, but I at least I understand WHY. And now you do too. So there. SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE cares what I had for lunch.

16 February 2008

Someone back me up here

I think that requiring K to have his OWN HOME IN WHICH TO WATCH HIS CHILD is an entirely reasonable request.

And I think that if he cannot provide said home, my decision to have my friends watch Gabe is also entirely reasonable.

And yet he tells me that this is unfair. And that I am a bitch.

I'm confused.

15 February 2008

Some things that I like

Inspired by a conversation about some things that I want
  • Honey
  • Being called "Honey"
  • Sleeping in
  • Staying up late
  • When I take a shower with someone and soap up their back
  • Tracing Gabriel's eyebrows with my fingertips
  • When I'm thinking about something and I realize that I'm chewing on my lower lip
  • When I run into someone I don't expect to see and I'm actually excited to see them
  • When I get dressed up and feel really pretty
  • Feeling safe
  • Snuggling next to someone who's big enough to wrap me up in their arms
  • Giggling
  • Curling up in a chair and reading a book when it's raining outside
  • Baking cookies
  • When I catch someone's eye and we both smile at the same time
  • Steamed milk, childish I know
  • Sunny, cold, windy autumn days
  • Walking on the beach in the winter time
  • Hugs
  • Perfectly cold ice water
  • The smell of asphalt in the rain
  • Swimming pools
  • Kittens
  • The way new babies smell
  • The way fields of sunflowers follow the day
  • Art projects with children under five
  • Finding the perfect gift for someone I care about
  • When a song comes on that fits just right
  • When the wind makes my cheeks turn pink
  • Looking at the stars on warm summer nights
  • Christmas morning for kids who still believe in Santa Claus

14 February 2008

Love is in the air

Here's to another commercialized and meaningless holiday!

Although I did get a red hardhat in the mail today--a sign perhaps??

Job is going.....well here's the thing. I LIKE my job. I like the people with whom I work, for the most part. I work for a REALLY good company. It just so happens that my immediate boss is a megalomaniacal psychopath, and he's a very difficult person for whom to work. Some days I just sit here thinking, gee, I could smile and keep doing my job, or I could go home and stick my head in the oven. The problem is I just CAN'T seem to choose, because my options? They totally balance each other out in pros and cons.

On the side of staying at this company and keeping this job:
  • The company is excellent. I mean truly, they seem genuinely concerned with doing right by their employees in a way that is both rare and refreshing.
  • I believe in what we're doing.
  • I enjoy my day-to-day tasks.
  • I enjoy a great deal of independence.
  • I am well compensated.
  • There is plenty of room for advancement.
  • Boss is fuckwit.
  • There is no foreseeable end to fuckwit boss not being my boss any more, as he is Company President's Best Beloved.
  • CA campus is grossly understaffed and mismanaged.
  • I am in Butte County.
  • I have no support system here.
  • I don't make enough money to not need a support system.
  • Interoffice politics rival daytime television in their drama and detail.

12 February 2008

The first time I got lost in a book

I am seven. I am in Ms. Christiansen's second grade class. We are reading Little House in the Big Woods. While the class is reading aloud, I have been reading ahead. I get to the end of Chapter 2, and start Chapter 3. At the end of Chapter 3, I look up. We're not reading anymore. We're taking a math quiz. Someone put the quiz on my desk, but I was so lost that I don't remember who or when; I didn't notice. Completely disoriented, I try to look like I know what I'm doing, doodling in the margins. Raquel Rodriquez gets up to sharpen her pencil. She snatches my paper off my desk, announces that I haven't been following along. I am mortified. I sit at my desk, red creeping up my neck to my cheeks, waiting to be in trouble. No one ever says anything about it, and for days I wait to hear about how I failed my quiz. I check my folder for a note going home to my mom. Nothing ever happens.

09 February 2008

Alive, barely....

Much like the last time I went to Idaho, the flight there was just peachy, the flight back....not so much. Wednesday night I drove down to San Jose, where my mom met me and took Gabe. Then I drove up to Sacramento where I slept (oh wait, no I didn't) at a friend's house. I got to the airport at right about 5am. I didn't really have too much I needed to do in Idaho on Thursday, but since the HR lady had wanted to make it ANOTHER ONE DAY BUSINESS TRIP, I sort of invented some things so that they could pay for my hotel. So I spent Thursday visiting with all of my counterparts, gossiping about the the hell that's going down in CA, pulling them into my confidence on various aspects of gross mismanagement, and chatting about nothing. Then I checked into my hotel (which is nicer than my apartment), showered, and PASSED OUT until 5, at which time I was meeting a coworker for dinner. I went to dinner, drank, ate, had a generally good time, went back to my hotel, and PASSED OUT until another coworker called me (we were going out that night).

So Thursday night I went out, and I think that can be summed up with the following photograph:
I woke up Friday morning spooning Miss Shari. We had both slept at my hotel, and this included eating Del Taco in the hot tub (adjacent to the front lobby) in our chonies.

Then the scantron training commenced. It was incredibly lame, and not helped by the fact that I was both hungover, and remembering that Del Taco is never EVER a good idea. But we got on with that, I got some new climbing gear so I can do this:

And then we went to lunch, and then I went on to my flight. Flight to Seattle was fine. Flight from Seattle to Sacramento....well first it was delayed and delayed and delayed. And then it turned out that the plane had been there the whole time, and the airline agent lady made the following announcement: "Maintenance is currently on the plane. I will have an update for you within an hour." Not very encouraging. The flight was canceled, the next flight was full. I MIRACULOUSLY got on that flight on standby, ahead of 30 other people trying to fly standby.

I got back to Sacramento. Took the shuttle to longterm parking. My battery was dead.

Driving back to Chico, with 10 hours of sleep in 3 days, I got pulled over for no reason at all, and told to have a safe drive home. Um....thanks.

And then there was no parking my complex parking lot.

06 February 2008

My own private Idaho

Gabriel is still sick. Ugh. He's getting better. Only, very, very slowly.

Today I get to get off work, drive to Chico, pick up Gabe, drive to Santa Cruz, drop of Gabe, and drive to Sacramento. Joy.

View Larger Map

Yes, I'm going from A to B to C to D

I'm going to Idaho again. At least this time it's not a one day business trip, right? Keep your fingers crossed for me making it there and back by Friday. Regular posting will resume upon my return AND recovery.

And yes, this would be a lot easier if Gabriel had TWO parents with stable home environments with whom he could stay. T'would be much, MUCH easier.

Rock the Vote

I voted for Barack Obama, in case anyone is wondering.

It was actually sort of a nightmare, because I'm normally absentee, but I'm also a non-partisan voter and wanted to vote in the Democratic primary. So I had to take my non-partisan absentee ballot to my polling station and, while I can't believe I'm the first person to have done this, the election workers had a REALLY HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING THAT I WANTED A NEW BALLOT. But I got one. Eventually.

I'm registered as non-partisan because I don't particularly care for our two party system. But since I have to choose between the two parties on a fairly regular basis, I choose the Democrats. And don't blame me for George W.--I did NOT vote for Nader.

I've voted in every election since I turned 18, and it continues to blow my mind how very VERY few of my friends bother to vote. Does one vote matter? Well probably not. But do thousands of people asking "Does one vote matter" matter? Why yes, yes it does. So if you're primary hasn't come up yet, vote. If you missed it already, register already because the '08 election is going to be huge.

04 February 2008

Unbelievably Unbelievable

I picked Gabriel up from school Friday, and shortly after he developed a fever. He's been VERY sick ever since. He's only been awake for about 4-6 hours a day, he's been coughing uncontrollably, he hasn't really been eating, and did I mention the fever? I think I did. Seeing as I officially don't feel comfortable taking time off, I was sort of stuck today, and was actually quite grateful that K could watch G-Mans at my house.
And, obvio, I made Gabe a doctor's appointment. It was today, at 5:40. And I told K. And I told him again. And then I tried to call him about 10 times to make SURELY sure that he knew to take him and where he was going. And then I got home today, and K and Gabe were there, on the couch. UN.BE.LIE.VA.BLE. So I hustled Gabriel into the car like a crazy woman, and he screamed the whole way there on account of being woken up. And he cried the whole time he was there because he didn't want to be there because he's a sick little boy. Now we're at home, and he's snuggled into a chair, coughing up a lung.
He has the flu. And bronchitis. And an ear infection.

And, since I have not much choice, I am really, really hoping and praying that K can watch Gabey tomorrow...

In a town like ours...

My extremely unscientific personal study of trashy big box stores has taught me that the funkier the town, the fancier the Wal-Mart. Chico, which lacks such (in my mind anyhow) basic necessities as Macy's or any other decent department store has a VERY fancy Wal-Mart, a Target that's to die for, and an abundance of discount grocery outlets.
Up until Friday, I had never been blessed with a reason to visit a discount grocery outlet. However, on Friday I was sent (by Stella) on a very specific mission to WinCo. Some points about WinCo:

1. It's like if Costco had normal sized packaging. Seriously, the store is huge, the aisles are tall.
2. The liquor aisle is labeled as follows: Wine, Vodka, Bourbon. And those are actually the ONLY three types of alcohol ON THE LIQUOR AISLE. None of that Scotch whiskey for me, I'm a bourbon girl. (I did find gin on an end display elsewhere in the store, you'll be glad to know).
3. Nothing makes you feel classy quite like going to this store in this town, and buying: gin, diet tonic (not my normal choice but all I could find without my glasses on), frozen pizza, gum, a Rockstar energy drink and diapers.

This was a defining moment in my life. I felt officially trashy.

Then I went to Stella's house, where her neighbors include:
  • Chain smoking, drinking, pregnant woman.
  • Five year old with mouth full of silver teeth.
  • Various lunatic, toothless meth addicts
  • Scores of under-dressed, poorly fed and poorly supervised children.

03 February 2008

What, you wouldn't wear Apple Bottoms to an interview?

So as a part of what I'm calling "Yes! Love your job!" (or the slow campaign to make me stab myself in the jugular with a pair of scissors), a new dress code has been handed down. The funny part is that only three of us have been instructed to abide by it. THREE PEOPLE IN THE ENTIRE COMPANY. And the world just wouldn't run right if I wasn't one of those three. Luckily, I am! Phew, I was worried.
In the email that the president sent out instructing us on the new guidelines, I was told to dress "business professional or business casual, or in simple terms, dress as if you were going to an interview." Okay. I wore jeans and a tank top to my interview FOR THIS JOB, but I don't think that's what you mean. And business professional is a suit, nylons if you're wearing a skirt, VERY formal, and definitely NOT the right fit for this company. I think that you mean business casual, so that's how I'm interpreting this.
I actually don't mind this dress code in theory. 80% of the time, this is how I dress for work ANYWAYS, because 80% of the time, this is just how I dress. But, due to the nature of my job (and how incredibly short staffed we are in CA), some days I have to put on lineman boots and a hardhat, walk a couple hundred yards through the sinking mud, and GPS a transmission tower. And I NEVER want to be up to my ankles in mud when I'm wearing dress slacks.
While I'm pointing out logistical problems, here's another one: all of my company-paid-for logo gear that I'm supposed to wear is quality casual at best. T-shirts, sometimes polos, and a lot of hooded sweatshirts. So they're going to need to decide between dressing it up, and representing the school (and they're VERY big on representing the school).
This got handed down about two weeks ago, and I've been doing my best to abide by it. But then I sort of....ran out of appropriate clothes. I wore all of my pants that aren't jeans, and then I wore all of my nicer jeans, and then, despite the fact that it's FREEZING, I dug out the wool tights and wore skirts for a couple days. And then I STILL hadn't done my laundry, so on Friday, I tried to compensate for the fact that I was wearing Apple Bottoms with a nice polo/sweater combo and some pumps. I even combed my hair and wore a little bit of makeup.
I went over to Stella's when I got off, and she told me, "I think that's appropriate for a job interview. If your job interview's in Oakland."