27 December 2007

And also some things that I do really really badly

  • Confrontation. Hate it, am horrible with it, 90% of the time I choose avoidance.
  • Crying. You didn't know you could be bad at crying? Not only am I really not good at expressing my emotions, but on the rare occasions that I *DO* cry? I'm one of those ugly, ungraceful criers.
  • Sitting still.
  • Watching a movie all the way through (see above)
  • Listening. I actually DO listen, but I'm fidgety, and too much eye contact makes me uncomfortable, and I'm an interrupter, and all of those things come together to make me seem like a supremely bad listener.
  • Driving. I'm working on this one, but my driving record is....not so great.
  • Honesty. Not like I'm a liar, but like I have a really hard time telling people just exactly what I think. It goes along with the confrontation and the emotional intimacy problems. I tend to be a smile and nod type person.
  • Locking doors, filing cabinets, windows, etc. etc. etc.
  • Patience. Read: I have none. Except with Gabriel, I am generally quite patient with him.
  • Money. I'm not a good budgeter, nor a good saver. I think right now that may have to do with the fact that I have no money to budget or save, but when I did, I just bought more stuff.
  • Gossip. Actually I'm a really good gossip, but consider yourself warned: if you don't tell me "Jen, don't tell anyone" I will find someone to tell. Unless it's boring. Or unless you're my BEST friend (there's only a couple of you), or unless it would reflect negatively on me. If you DO tell me not to tell anyone, then I won't. Unless I don't like you. Then I don't care, and I'll lie to your face. Sorry.
  • Maintaining my household while working a full time job. I KNOW most people do it. I get overwhelmed, and cannot. My apartment is essentially in shambles.
  • Discipline. Unless Gabe's being a danger to himself, or hurting others, or breaking something I really care about, I tend not to do much. I have mom guilt and I don't set stern boundaries.
  • Musical/Artistic talent/creativity. I have none. Zero.
  • Moderation. Having a rough day? How bout a whole BOTTLE of wine? How about a shopping SPREE? How about an entire afternoon of sex? How about eating the whole pizza? Or 27 cookies? Or a whole jar of peanut butter with chocolate chips stirred in.
  • Finishing projects
  • Dieting
  • Maintaining a consistent routine
  • Trying new things
  • Trying things that I don't think I'll do well
  • Swimming. I actually love the water, but I think I have abnormally dense bone structure or something. Because I swear to you, I sink.

Some things that I do really, really well

  • Internet stalking. I essentially have a Master's degree in research/finding things/whatever you want to call it. If I don't know how to find it, I know how to find out how to find it, including requesting public records and all SORTS of fun things. Facebook stalking is a whole 'nother venue of expertise, but one I have mastered all the same. Lucky you if you have a boring name, that makes it a LOT harder.
  • School. I have mastered the minimum input to maximum output ratio. I can take almost any class and do well. It's sort of freaky. That's why I'm 25 with a Master's degree. Because school's so easy, I get paid to do it for other people!
  • Making french toast. I don't like eggs, so 90% of the common breakfast choices are out. And then waffles are a pain in the ass and I don't feel like I have a proper pan for pancakes. So I've perfected french toast.
  • Getting ready, including showering, shaving my legs, and doing my hair and makeup, in 15 minutes or less (without Gabe--30 minutes or less with him)
  • Memorizing song lyrics. Part of the really-good-at-school is that I have a good memory. Unless I'm drinking, then I have NO MEMORY WHATSOEVER.
  • The Scrabble/Boggle/Text Twist game trifecta, both online and off.
  • Wrapping presents. This Christmas Gabriel helped me with all of the presents (hence the crooked cut paper and the coloring) but I'm good at it. Trust me.
  • Math in my head. Not like, nonlinear algebra hypothetical beyond my brain's comprehension math, but like, figuring out the tip, what gas mileage my car gets, how many miles to such and such, what day of the week will my birthday be on next year, what kind of change do I give you to get quarters back, do I have enough money for everything in my shopping cart math.
  • Typing. I type fast. Someone has to.
  • Proofreading. I can spot the grammar/spelling error before you even type it.
  • Resume writing. It goes along with being good at school. I'm good at bullshit.
  • Thrift store shopping. People always ask me where I got my clothes. The answer is at least 60% of the time Thrifty Bargains or the Goodwill or the Salvation Army. It takes patience and persistence (which I generally lack)
  • Keeping plants alive and healthy
  • Mending
  • Remembering your birthday. I love birthdays. I'll remember. I'll usually get you a present. Not because I have to, but because one of my favorite things is finding something for someone else that I KNOW they'll like.
  • Ironing
  • Cupcakes
  • Keeping my own secrets

So I guess God wants me to have a pink phone?

To recap with the saga of my cell phone:

Early October: Miss Grace is on the phone with her mom. She hears a funny crackling noise. She looks at her phone, the screen is blank, white. Then the screen goes black, and a tiny bit of smoke comes out the side, and the whole apartment smells like burning. Miss Grace loses all of her phone numbers, and doesn't feel very good about the amount of time this electronic device spent in frightening proximity to her brain. She calls Sprint, who she hates, to get a new phone, and does not wish to sign a new contract. They send her a RAZR knockoff courtesy of Sanyo, but will not send her the black one or the grey one. They tell her that if she wants her new phone in less than two weeks, then she has to get the pink one. Luckily, she is a girl.

Late October/Early November: Miss Grace gets her cell phone bill, for well over $400. This is a combination of a variety of gross errors on Sprint's part. Her phone bill, if she's being very generous to the Sprint demons, should perhaps be $110. After many hours on the phone as well as some inexplicable tears, she gets her bill down to $365, and she still feels like she is being raped, beaten, and left in the woods to die. She cannot cancel her contract with Sprint, because it would cost $400, plus the $400 they are trying to tell her she owes them. Then she realizes that if she just stops paying her bill, she won't have to pay to cancel her contract. She changes her contact info on Sprint's website, writes "Fuck You" across her statement, and sends it, along with her frighteningly pink cell phone and a check for $110, which, she figures, she DOES legitimately owe them. Is she in collections? Who knows? Miss Grace is willing to make one trip to collections for the evil cell phone gods, and frankly does not care. She gets a new phone through T-Mobile, who in the past has always treated her well. She chooses a tastefully blue phone.

Early November: Tasteful blue T-Mobile phone arrives. Miss Grace gathers all of her missing and errant phone numbers from across the globe, and figures that the few she is missing probably don't deserve to exist in the first place. Blue phone is defective. Blue phone randomly turns off and won't turn back on, regardless of battery charge. Blue phone will not send text messages. She calls. They send her new phone. AGAIN she has to get all of her phone numbers. She is beginning to think that maybe she should keep them somewhere besides her cell phone. Blue phone #2 is friendly and kind, and Miss Grace has found love again.

Late December: Gabriel is in the bathtub. He is adorable. Miss Grace takes a picture of him with her phone. Gabriel is apparently shocked and offended that his mother would dare to photograph him in such a compromising position. He yells at her, and swats the phone out of her hands, into the gaping mouth of the open toilet. Miss Grace shrieks like her soul just died, and quickly rescues Blue phone from its unplanned and ill advised swim. She takes Blue phone apart, lays it out to dry, and hopes for the best. Throughout the next two days she turns her phone on and hopes. Sometimes she thinks things are definitely going to be okay, like when Sheena calls her and she answers, and it works. Other times she realizes that no, not even ONE of her cell phone buttons works. Unfortunately it is Christmas, and people like to send her text messages on Christmas. She can't read any of them. She inspects her phone again. She realizes that the water damage indicator on Blue phone is completely unmarked. She calls. "My phone died over the weekend, and when I plugged it in and turned it back on, none of the buttons worked." She is told to select a new phone to replace her old phone. FOR REASONS THAT REMAIN A TOTAL MYSTERY TO MISS GRACE, she is told that she can have any phone but the one she currently owns (less cost difference, of course). Oh she likes her phone? Well she can have it, but only if she gets it in Rose. Um. Okay.


So God is making me get a pink phone for the second time in two months. I don't need quite everyone's phone numbers, because I've managed to save a lot of them over the past replacements. But I can't call you. Well I can, but I don't like using the long distance on my house phone, because I don't wish to pay for it, so I won't unless I need to (like if I think you might be dead because you haven't called me, for instance). And I do have an answering machine at home, but I turn it off at night because I don't like the flashing it does, and sometimes (okay usually) I forget to turn it on in the morning.

26 December 2007

The best thing about Christmas

Christmas Eve I let Gabey sleep in my bed, because it was Christmas Eve and (as I often do) I was feeling indulgent.
While I was reading him stories (Christmas Stories) he kept talking about Santa, and his stocking, and how Santa was going to come to his house. This was the first time in the whole month before Christmas that he had even somewhat started to "get it" or to be really excited about anything other than the fact that Santa gets to wear some pretty awesome red 'jamas.
Then he fell asleep, and I got up and wrapped his presents and cleaned up the house for Christmas.
When I came to bed a couple of hours later, he sort of woke up as I was shifting him around. I told him I loved him.
He leaned over, whispered "I love you too mama" and kissed me on the cheek.
That was the first time Gabriel has ever told me he loved me.

25 December 2007

To my 17 new text messages

  1. Merry Christmas
  2. If it's important, I can't read you, so please contact me by alternate means.
  3. Alternate means include: calling me at home, or at work, or calling my cell phone and leaving a voice message, which I will check. Also, email, myspace, instant messages, you get the idea.
  4. I do not have your phone number.
  5. As I am exchanging my phone AGAIN, I most likely will never be able to read you, nor will I have your phone number.
  6. Yes, I will need to get all of my phone numbers all over again for the fourth time in two months.
  7. I rock.
  8. Cell phones don't like water. Who knew?
  9. I'm not ignoring you.
  10. Happy Holidays :)

24 December 2007

So much to do, so little time

We went to Sheena's for Christmas Eve dinner. She told me to dress up and then when I got there she was wearing jeans. "I was gonna call you and tell you I wasn't dressing up, but then I wanted to see what you would wear." She got Gabe a present of dollar store heaven. Spiderman stickers, Spiderman book, Elmo backpack, Elmo doll, clearly my overly commercialized son needed more tiny things to obsessively carry with him everywhere he goes.

I am potentially going to another Christmas Eve party tonight. Well, I said I would go, but the way things are going, I'm not sure I'll have time. See, I still haven't wrapped any of Gabe's presents, or cleaned my house so that Santa can even find the stockings. For one thing, I don't have tape. And I didn't realize it until oh, about just now. For another wrapping Gabriel's presents IN FRONT OF HIM sort of takes away the magic, and so far that's the only choice I would've had today, because as I noted earlier, I have NO WAY of contacting K. He left me a voice message, but since it didn't include his phone number, I've got nothing. My telepathy hasn't been working properly, so he hasn't managed to just up and show up at my house at the precise moment I need him to so that he can distract our distractable son, and I can get Christmas ready for him. Ah. Whatever.

I have until 3pm. Don't think it's gonna happen....

Yesterday my phone took a swim in the toilet. I keep turning it on and thinking it works, but that keeps not being the case. Now I can receive calls no problem, but none of my buttons work. Which is somewhat problematic.
Also, I need K to take Gabe for a while so I can wrap presents, but his phone number only exists inside of my cell phone, and remember that little bit about the no buttons? Yeah...Christmas is going to rock?
If, out of the kindness in your heart, you decide that you simply must either wrap all of my presents, or clean my house, I won't say no.

23 December 2007

The Pics

I've recovered enough to post some pics...

I'm too hungover to upload pictures

Last night was our Christmas party, which was pretty fun. All the neighbors that I like came, plus Matt and Andrea, the ex-neighbors who I like a lot too.
I drank. WAY too much. I was pretty much wasted at 1230 when we all got a cab downtown because La Salles seemed like the best idea EVER. Then when James bought me a drink, that didn't help. And when Andrea's brother bought me a drink? That was no good either. And when Will bought me two shots of Jack, which for some reason I took? That spelled disaster. At some point (and by some point I mean, after everyone else had GONE HOME) Brett, Andrea's brother who had my phone, my camera, all of my STUFF, disapperated. And at that point the bar was closed and we were the only two of our entourage left. Then I recognized K's current girlfriend, and we spent the next hour or so inside of the closed bar, befriending one another. Which I guess made K really, really mad, cuz when I got home he told me that we're not on speaking terms anymore. Except that he had to talk to me to tell me that.
Seeing as I got driven home by a bouncer at oh, maybe 330 in the morning, when Gabriel woke up at 730? MISERABLE? He's pretty good at choosing my low moments to be sweet and well behaved, so far things have gone okayish. But I feel like death. I just found my phone though, so that's something.

*I have AMAZING pics, but I can't possibly put them up right, way too many steps involved*

21 December 2007

Nothing hurts like nothing at all

I may not have a Christmas present for Gabriel come Tuesday, which is unfortunate, at best. Well I'll have something for him, but not his main, bit I'm SOO excited to give it to him present. Ugh. Luckily his birthday and his Christmas are VERY close. And he's two, so I can give it to him on the 26th and he'll likely not care too much.

I'm really pretty excited about our Christmas party tomorrow. One of the reasons I moved here was the built in social life of already being friends with all of my neighbors, but since I've been working full time in O-RO-VILLE, I haven't even SEEN any of them for months it seems like. Going to bed at 9 every night doesn't exactly help.

Speaking of OROVILLE, I was informed today that my job will be shifting from my current 8-430 to 8-5 starting January 7th. Okay, that's still 8 hours, because I'll take a longer lunch, and it only technically adds .5 hour to my day. But. That. Sucks. That means Gabe's in daycare for almost 11 hours a day. See, if I leave at 430, I can get to his daycare by 5 most days, sometimes 505 or 510, but the drive's never TOO long. Leaving at 5 is a WORLD of difference. It'll take me at least 45 minutes, instead of at most. And I already spend every. single. weekday. feeling guilty about how much time Gabe spends being raised by other people. I know I KNOW that most of America does it every day, but I just want to raise my kid. If I could pick one thing that would make me really, really happy, I would like to have Gabriel raised mostly by me, instead of mostly by underpaid daycare providers who are simultaneously in charge of 11 other children under 2. And I think Gabriel goes to a really good center, don't get me wrong. Okay, daily rant about my never ending guilt and angst and bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about seeing the one person I love the most in the whole world for less than 3 hours a day? Over.
Okay it's not quite over I have this to add: I DO want to do other things and see grownups and have time for myself, and I DO those things, and I'm glad that I do because otherwise I would have to borrow a cordless drill and give myself a frontal lobotomy, but even then, it's like, every evening that I choose to have K watch Gabriel, or I decide to go to the gym, or whatever, that's a WHOLE DAY that I don't see Gabriel, and that sucks. What kind of life is that? Why should any parent have to choose not to see their child just to get any simple thing accomplished? What is wrong with America?

20 December 2007

Ichmas Christmas

So I have at the very least a good percentage of my giftings purchased. I still have my dad, but I'm not too worried because I'm not seeing anyone till after Christmas anyways, and malls, crowded indoor malls, make me extremely claustrophobic and induce mild panic attacks, so I'm choosing to avoid them at this particular time of year. I do have brave Costco on Saturday afternoon in preparation for our apartment complex Christmas party. Ick. But I also have some Costco impulse buys to return, so I spose it's a necessary evil. I don't know why I go to Costco with one thing on my list and come out having spent over $200 and not gotten the ONE THING I CAME TO BUY. Evil Costco demons....

I spent last night in Sacramento, which was nice because so far, it's always been nice. Plus I saw (I know it's a travesty that I hadn't managed to see it yet) Superbad, which is EXACTLY my kind of movie. It's almost like it's specifically designed for someone with Movie ADD. I didn't once feel like getting up to start something else. And have you ever watched a movie with me? That's really saying something.

From what I hear Gabriel has fully recovered to his regular and spunky self, and he's back at daycare. I don't have any idea what we're doing this weekend/into Christmas, beyond Staying In Chico. I think Sheena had mentioned something about doing Christmas Eve at her house, which is a definite possibility, and I'm sure we'll have to figure out just how to feed ourselves, etc. Luckily Gabriel doesn't have any expectations.

Although I do need to get him stocking stuffers still. I mean, Santa has to get them. But I'm going to help.

18 December 2007

Some things I've never done that I really feel like I should have done by now

  • Been to Canada
  • Walked across the Golden Gate Bridge
  • Had someone besides my mom buy me underwear
  • Bought proper grown up furniture
  • I've been to NYC many times and have never seen the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, Rockefeller Center, Ellis Island, Staten Island, or the MoMA. Because I'm the worst tourist ever, apparently.
  • Never played a game of poker
  • Learned how to surf
  • Balanced my check book
  • Been to a strip club (I'm not counting the whore house in Rosarito, I'm sorry)
  • Put together a photo album for Gabey
  • Hung pictures on my walls
  • Started a holiday tradition
  • Baked a pie
  • Run naked through a public place
  • Knit a sweater
  • Replaced my heinous couch pillows
  • Lived outside of CA
  • Been in a limo
  • Lived in a real city (funny how the "city of Chico" doesn't count)

17 December 2007

Sicky GabeyPants

I had to leave work early cuz Gabers is sick. Sucks because I hate having a sad, sick baby curled up like a puppy on my floor; because K was supposed to be "in charge" of Gabriel today and was mysteriously MIA, so I had to take paid time off for today; and because I had been planning on spending the night in Sacramento.

Speaking of K.Dot, in my quest to locate my son's father so that he could pick up his child, I discovered that he is now homeless AND jobless. And when I finally did talk to him, he said he starts working in Sacramento next Monday. Christmas Eve? Sacramento? Okay. But what about how you said you were going to take the 26th and 27th off to watch Gabe because I didn't have the days off to take (especially counting today)? Well I guess I'll have to find some other arrangements to make. And what about Gabriel's insurance? He was on your policy, not mine. Health insurance for your small child? Generally important. La dee da.

On the plus side, being home for the better part of the afternoon with Gabriel passed out in a nest of blankets meant that I had time to make meat loaf and pumpkin spice bread.

Someone better take me somewhere someday

I had a Macy's gift card to spend, and yesterday I spent it on the world's cutest and most impractical silver dress. But, c'mon, I already have silver shoes, and I look REALLY cute in it!

Yesterday was a lot of rainy day crafty fun. Gabe was occupied with his sticker book while I finished up a couple of little projects, and did some Christmas wrapping. And he helped me make hot chocolate and dinner.

We're having a Christmas party at my apartment complex on Saturday, feel free to come. I think we're all gonna be there, even the ones that have moved away, so it should be a lot of fun. The Body Shop party was fun--lots of wine and kiddos and good smelling lotions and things, and Jayme booked a couple more parties off of it, so YAY go Jayme! I'm all for stay at home moms getting to stay home.

I think I'm as done as I'm ever going to be with my Christmas shopping. I need to get something for my dad still, since I've been forbidden to overload him with NLC gear. Luckily he's one of the easiest people for whom to by things (I know that was an extraordinarily awkward statement but I have a disorder and I literally CANNOT end a sentence with a preposition, I'm sorry).

Ooh and thank you to Molly-who's-a-genius 2008 is going to be marked by a CD exchange! That means we have 12 people and every month a different person is responsible for sending a mixed CD to the other 11! Have I mentioned how VERY INCREDIBLY much I LOVE mixed CD's? I heart them. And obviously this is not the case for this particular setup, but I especially love it when someone makes me specifically a mixed CD, especially if I love it, because it's such a cheap and easy, yet challenging and loving, personal gift. And when I love them, it's like, of course so-and-so is one of my best friends, look at this CD! Okay, I think y'all already got the memo about my particular brand of crazy, so I'm sure none of that last bit came as a surprise.

I'm in town for Christmas, which should be pretty low key. I'm going down to my parents' house for New Year's weekend because I'm gonna have Gabe, so it's not like I could do anything particularly much in Chico, might as well hang out with my fambly and eat good food and take long hot baths and the like. But if you're around, let's hang out?

15 December 2007

Saturdays are my favorite days

Well we have the world's tiniest Christmas tree up, and it's about to tip over from its single strand of lights and 6 ornaments. But I wanted something potted that would fit on my end table, so there ya go. And Gabriel loves it, and he's the point. My house, meh, reasonably clean. My homework, meh, done enough. I haven't had any sort of grownup time for forever and day, but K wanted to go on a date last night more than he wanted to hang out with Gabriel. I know I know, no one's surprised. Except for me, continuously. Whatever.

I spent last night drinking red wine and watching Zim! by myself. The good news is I got to sleep in until 8:30. Apparently my drunken sleepiness wore off on Gabe, cuz he didn't even try to get up until 8:15. Today's Jayme's Body Shop party. You're still invited!

Jennifer just told me that she could make me bloomers!! And knitting needle cases!!! And she made me very, very, VERY excited just thinking about the possibilities. Very excited.

12 December 2007

Things can't be helped by worrying, but I can't help but worry

  • Will K's consistent inconsistencies throughout Gabriel's childhood permanently damage my son's ability to trust others and engage in meaningful relationships?
  • Could K putting "spend time with son" last on his agenda leave my son with an attachment disorder?
  • Will I somehow be blamed for this?
  • How long can I reasonably be expected to bend over backwards to ensure that my son spends time with his father, when his father doesn't bend at all?
  • At what point do I clearly determine whether it is more damaging to have a flaky, inconsistent, completely non-dependable father figure, or to have no father figure at all?
  • Will K ever realize that loving his son means that Gabriel comes before EVERYTHING else?
  • Will he ever understand that taking Gabriel to school in the morning and spending a few hours with him in the evening is not the same thing as being a full-time engaged parent?
  • Am I wasting my time?
  • Is there something wrong with me, that I have devoted myself so completely to giving my son the time I think he deserves with his father, even when I'm not being met at all, let alone half way?
  • Is it better to include dad in family activities that occur at my home, or to exclude him, and try to make him plan his own activities?
  • How can he ever, EVER take Gabriel for any meaningful amount of time if he doesn't even have a home to take him to?
  • How long can I allow him to spend time with Gabriel at my home before that just gets weird?
  • Isn't it already weird?
  • What do I say when Gabriel asks me, "Where's Dada's house?"
  • What do I say when Gabriel asks me, "Where's Dada?"
  • How can you not see that Gabriel is fantastic and amazing and beautiful and sensitive and loving and funny and curious and bright and open and full of wonder?
  • If you do see it, and I think (hope?) you do, how can you not do more for him? For me?

11 December 2007

My Holiday Gift Guide

In addition to the stuff on Amazon (look right!), here's some other stuff that you can buy me if you love me and want to buy me things:

I can't help it, I think this is cute.

I need a new umbrella, and here are some that apparently don't suck.

I would put this glittery glittery prettyness on my zipper pulls and I would be sparkly.

Various bags: I like this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this

I like these necklaces, most particularly Earth, Joy and Champagne. I wonder what that says about my personal values?

I will not get this by Christmas and I'm okay with that. IF YOU LOVE ME BUY ME THIS
Or this
Or this


Another necklace (I'm trying to branch out and wear something besides my gold necklace every day, and I like A LOT of the necklaces at this Etsy. A LOT.)

A leetle coin purse, in purple/grass/gold please.

Monstrously Cute

Edited to add:

Clever and hot pink!!
To complete my broken glasswares
Delicate and pretty and OH YEAH CHICO'S COLD!!! (in grey)
Matching (GREEN!!) hat and scarf.

10 December 2007

Knitting it together

The good thing about being stuck in airports for hours on a Friday night when all of your friends have better things to than talk to you and entertain you and listen to your stupefied delirium is this: I finished 3(!!) Christmas presents that I was knitting. And I looked at them on Sunday, because it occurred to me that they were probably NOTgood on account of the lack of firing synapses when I was making them, but they are error free! Well, one has one tiny error, but I think (hope?) I'm the only one to notice it. So that was productive.

You want to know something that's really not productive? Not productive at all? I have 2 (two?!) final projects due on Thursday. No I'm not a student. Yes I have finals. If I have not explained myself to you yet, well, that sucks. My life will remain enshrouded in mystery, and you will worship me. Ha.

But anyways, I have to do that tonight, so, um, sucks balls.

To the mystery Amazon.com shopper who bought me a slow cooker and some cookbooks, Thanks!! I wish you had taken credit, so I could feel properly thankful. I guess this way I can feel generally kindly towards all of my friends? I dunno.

09 December 2007

Okay, I'm ready to talk about Friday

Friday. Friday Friday Friday. I and my dandy coworkers had a flight out of Chico at 545am. Being as I had to leave my house at 415, and I had to shower and the like, I was waking up at 315. Except that I woke up at 2, and it was too close to when I actually had to wake up, so I never really fell back asleep. So. I woke up at 2am. To start my day.
The flights from Chico to SF and from SF to Boise weren't bad. Boise was COLD, but I'd come prepared with my jacket. My company had arranged for us to rent a minivan. Which was pimpin. Obvio.
We got to the Idaho offices, a place that I'd never been. I got to meet all of the people with whom I've spoken on the phone throughout the past three months, and we were fed. And there were cream puffs. And punch. And Christmas prezzies. And bonuses. And hours and hours of presentations about the company and new developments etc., etc., but that was interesting to me, and therefore just fine.
I must now move into the present tense, because I keep reliving the horror behind my eyelids.
It is snowing. 5ish rolls around, and everyone living in/staying in Idaho is readying to leave. Three of us four that came clamber back into our minivan. We get to the airport. We go to check in. Our flight to San Francisco has been canceled because of fog (there, naturally).
"Where can you get us?"
"Well there's a later flight to San Francisco, but it's full. I can get you to LA."
"Can you get us to Sacramento? Sacramento would be okay."
"Yes, I can put you all on a flight to LAX, and then fly from LA to Sacramento, putting you there at 1152pm."
We call Big Bossman, and he tells us to do whatever it takes to get home. Since we've all been up since the night before, this includes cocktails. Our flight to LA is delayed. I call a rental car company to make a reservation in Sacramento so we can get back to Chico. They close at midnight.
We fly to LA. At this point I'm pretty delirious. And when, instead of a single gin and tonic, I get a double vodka tonic, my delirium gets a touch worse. Our flight to Sac is on time. But wait. We have to wait for some passengers who just got in and need to make their connecting flight, pushing our estimated arrival time back to 12:05am. What time does that rental car company close ladies and gentlemen? That's right, midnight. Fantastic.
We fly to Sacramento. As soon as the wheels of the airplane touch the runway, I call the rental car people. Please. Please don't close. They tell me they won't leave until they rent me my car. We get off the airplane. We follow the signs, go down the escalator. Where are we? Seriously, where ARE we? We've all been to the Sacramento Airport, none of us has ever seen this. WHERE are we? Where is the parking garage? Where is the rental car area? Where is the baggage claim? WHERE ARE WE????
Anyone who knew that the Sacramento Airport had two terminals, please raise their hand.
So we inquire. We have to take a bus to the rental car terminal. Getting on the bus, I forget how to climb stairs, and completely fall down, clutching the stranger in front of me for support. I bring him down with me. It is now 12:15am. I have been awake for 22.25 hours.
We get to Enterprise. They ask me if I'd like to upgrade. No, I just want to go home. Are you sure? Yes, I just want to go home. Oh, well this is the only car we have, so we'll upgrade you for free.
You were going to charge me for you not having my car?
I'm the driver, but I cannot drive. Mike drives.
2:30. We're at the Chico Airport. Rental car is in my name. This is the ONE rental car company whose offices are not at the airport. I can't turn in my rental at the same place that my car is parked. I have to turn it in because it's in my name. I drive home. In the rental car. I fall asleep.
7am. Gabriel wakes up.
I have a rental car with no car seat, and a child. Saturday.....awesome?

I have three pictures from my trip, and I think they're magic:

In Idaho, In the SNOW!! (Holding a Christmas Stocking!!)
This is Mike. He has been awake for too long:

This is me. I have been awake for WAY TOO LONG:


I've been trying this new thing where instead of handing my child a variety of kid foods and ready made snacks, I actually make him meals. The elements that I enjoy include arranging his sectioned plates in such a way that all four food groups are represented and nice to look at, and the fact that my house smells nice when I cook. The cons are that he usually chooses exactly one thing on the plate to eat and ignores everything else. I'm not sure how long I can keep this up without becoming stressed out and irritated, but it's working for now.

06 December 2007

This looks about right

Spinning into worse

I went home early yesterday and slept until K brought Gabey home at around 6. Then I stayed up for a whopping two and a half hours before I went back to bed at 8:30. The good news is I feel much, much better. As in, only mildly sick and grouchy. The bad news? I've done NOTHING since I got back in town Tuesday. NOTHING.

Plus, as a sunshiny bonus, I'm going to Idaho(?) tonight (tomorrow morning?) which means I'll likely do NOTHING tonight, I'll be gone all day tomorrow, I'll be grumpy and in no mood on Saturday, and that means...wow. Have you ever seen my house/the inside of my brain when I do nothing for two weeks straight? It's. Not. Good. In fact, it's bad. Very very bad.

So off I go to the Klu Klux Klan capital of the United States, good old Idaho.

05 December 2007

I feel like death

I had coffee at home, and then there were doughnuts at work, and I ate one, naturally. Maple glaze. And I just threw up. Has anyone ever met me? I DO NOT throw up. Not when I'm drunk, not when I'm sick, not even when I'm pregnant. I don't puke. It's unheard of. Even if I have the stomach flu, and everyone else is puking out their internal organs, I just lie around on the couch feeling sick without ever ACTUALLY vomiting. I have puked TWICE in last four years. Once from being sick, once from drinking. In FOUR YEARS. And I don't even feel very sick right now. Someone please explain. Because I'm pissed off. I HATE puking, which is why my body has decided never to do it, because it doesn't want to make me angry.

04 December 2007

Pictures for Molly

Molly, remember when I told you about Callahan's? Well these are the pictures to bring it alive for you.

My sister demonstrating Mary's "tattoos." One is of a cougar biting her nipple, the other is a stick of butter on her nipple.

Mikey, who is 23 and thinks that cameras will steal his soul, yes that's a Texas longhorn skull on the wall

Failing miserably with the What is Desire? face, note the Welcome Bikers sign over the bar

Flipping off the camera, I'm sorry you can't see the Michelle Benson look alike in the background, how do you like Laura's high ponytail?