14 September 2007

16 Things to Say to 16 Different People

  1. You're not THAT great, get over yourself.
  2. You use men to validate yourself. You sleep with people to make yourself feel better. You compete to win with your friends so that you can feel superior to them. That's really fucked up, and you're a really sad person.
  3. The sex is never good if one person doesn't want to have sex, and yes, this IS about you.
  4. I can't tell you some of my deepest, darkest secrets, because I'm afraid of you judging me, and I love you too much to have you judge me.
  5. I'm not a child, but I can behave like one. If you try to boss me around, I promise I will act like a two year old and do the exact opposite. Let me live my life and get over it.
  6. Yes, I think you're a turboslut.
  7. I avoid you because I don't want to be your friend. You're needy and oh-so-very-unintelligent. If I want to have a conversation with an amoeba, I'll go find one in my bathroom. It's a lot less effort.
  8. I know I like you a lot, and I'm pretty sure it's mutual, and that's really, really scary, so I'm just going to leave you alone.
  9. I'm really NOT mad. To be mad, I would have to have some kind of emotional investment in what's going on. Am I irritated? Sure. But I'm NOT upset, and I'm not just being that girl who says she's not upset when she really is. Trust me. I'm not upset.
  10. You're a prude, a know-it-all, and a bitch. And you're not always right. Often, you're wrong.
  11. I think you single handedly ruined one of best friendships I've ever had, and all to make a guy feel like shit--why?
  12. I'm not friends with you anymore because: You are horribly insecure, when we were friends you would copy EVERYTHING, you have a drug problem that I can't really get past, you drink WAY too much, you talk about me behind my back to my best friends, and when I needed you the most, you went out of your way to stab me in the back. So please, stop trying to get in touch with me.
  13. If I thought we could get it on and still be good friends afterwards, I'd totally be there.
  14. I'm not emotionally available right now. I know I used to be, and I miss you too, but I can't be there if you have a breakdown.
  15. You. Are. Crazy.
  16. I want to be adored, and I don't think that's too much to ask. Pleasured and adored.


  1. Sure we can be good friend afterwards... lets get it on!

  2. (number 13 was meant for me, right? I took a stab....)